Simply Love
by tanyart
Summary: BUPUxRAIST Things go crazy when a fairy grants Bupu's wish for Raistlin... Ch 10 is up!
1. Prologue

Warning: PG13 for suggestive themes, language, crude humor, and the oh-so-sexy Dalamar. (For it is he that I will tease unmercifully.) Oh and my sister asked this… sorry, buuuttttt.. THERE IS NO LEMON. Geez. I'm a sick person, but not THAT sick. 

Author: Wow. My first ever fic that I'm putting up here on this wonderful site.. Anyway, this is a story that was stuck in my head a few years back, but I never really got into. When I started rereading the DL books, I was inspired. Suddenly.

In a weird way.

So sit back and don't forget to R+R. Suits up flame proof jacket Enjoy.

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Prologue

The night was as soggy as a baby's bottom… And probably as dirty too.

Although it wouldn't have mattered anyway since this scene takes place underground. Hmph. Well ho hum, I've always wanted to use that line. Going on…

A small group of gully dwarves lay sound asleep in one of the crumbled dark alleyways of Xak Tsaroth. To an observer, they have probably fallen asleep after they had feasted on fat sewer rats, for small bones were scattered everywhere. All were snoring quite loudly. A particularly loud snore jolted a gully dwarf from it's sleep.

If you were to look closer, you would know that this gully dwarf was a female. And a rather pretty one as far as these little creatures go. She yawned loudly and scrambled up on her stubby legs. After stepping on a few sleeping bodies, she made her way out of the alley. The sounds of snoring was quieter now. The gully dwarf grunted to herself and sat down, carefully placing down a well-worn bag as she did so. Ditry hands rubbed an even dirtier face. She had been dreaming… dreaming of a man clothed in red… They had been running in a field of flowers together… laughing, eating, and having all sorts of fun.

Bupu stared at the night sky. It was visible because of a rather large hole in the ceiling. Through it, she saw the stars. There were many.

"Not more than two…" she said to herself wisely and then gasped. A flash streaked through the sky, leaving a trail of silvery glitter. It disappeared.

Now, before I go on, there's something I must tell you. Gully dwarves are probably the smartest beings on Krynn. In fact, to make it easier, I'll do just that. I have the power, you know. Haha. What? Don't think so? I'll prove it. Watch…

One of the smartest creatures of Krynn sat, looking at the night sky. It had just witnessed a comet, but it didn't know that. Everyone knew, though, that if you saw a zooming flash in the night, you were suppose to wish on it. No? Well, shut up. It was because gully dwarves were so simple, that they were so brilliant. They know exactly what they want and aren't bothered by all suppose silly excess emotions. Sure, they were capable of loving, hating, anger, and grief, but who needed things like jealousy? Jealousy is just another complicated form of love. Or how about neutrality? Geez, it's either you like them or you don't. Oh! I have another one. Politics. It just confuses people, really. Gully dwarves don't need all of that. Simple life, simple pleasures. And thus, they were the smartest race in the world.

Now Bupu here knew exactly what she wanted. She didn't need to think of anything else. Just Raistlin. Bowing her head and clasping her grubby hands before her, she wished.

"Me want pretty man."

And it was that simple.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Raistlin woke up screaming. He sprung up from his desk where he had fallen asleep on and now was looking around with a lack of sanity in his eyes.

Dalamar ran to his master's study. He was in his silk jammies. They were a pleasing dark purple with little lambs dancing around it. Judging by the way his hair was ruffled up and how a dried up trail of drool ran down his mouth, Dalamar had been sleeping. "Shalafi!" he exclaimed, shocked to find Raistlin in this state, "Did something go wrong? Did you happen to drink your evening tea?" he asked gleefully.

"No, considering that someone had put laxatives in it." Raistlin composed himself long enough to fix the dark elf with a stare that would've melted Styrofoam (had it been invent at the time). "But I did happen to see you drink your glass of wine. Did you enjoy it?" he questioned innocently.

Dalamar paled and gagged. He quickly changed the subject. "I heard you screaming. Why?"

Raistlin went silent for a moment. He shuddered. "I had a dream."

"About?" Dalamar settled himself on one of the chairs.

Raistlin's voice was vague and halting. The dark elf was worried. "I was being chased… by a gully dwarf. I was running through a vast desert with thorns. "

"Aw. Shalafi. It was only a dream."

"SHE WAS LAUGHING AND TRYING TO FEED ME RATS!" Raistlin shrieked, waving his arms. He suddenly stopped as if a long lost memory had popped up in his mind. Which was what had exactly happened. "…and I must see her…"

"Who?" Dalamar asked, very curious. He was disturbed about the rat part though. How horrible.

"Bupu…"

"Bless you." Dalamar said politely.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

So the world begins to end... Should I continue? Be kind and review. :D


	2. Ch 1: Hickorysnicks

Disclaimer: -Dressed as a Kender- Steal? Me? Oh no… 'borrowed' sounds way better.

AN: I have half a mind to change this to PG. It's not that bad so far. I guess I'm just doing it for safety reasons.

Souma Kagura- Yes, it is a bit short, but it was only the prologue. I was actually afraid it might've been too long. lol. Thanks though! I do plan to continue writing. 8D

Petalwing- I admit, it did sound like a joke at first, but I'm taking it quite seriously. In a funny way, of course. ; There's no chance I'm going to take it 'all the way' with them though. It's more along the lines of humorous, dramatic-ish is what I'm after. However, marriage is a possibility, but not the way your thinking (hopefully). I have something planned for that.. ;) Thanks for the input! Gully dwarves rock! xD

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**Chapter One "Hickorysnicks"**

Raistlin sat behind his desk, reading a history book dating back before the Cataclysm. A few days had passed since he had that horrifying dream. To be truthful, he had forgotten it already. Raistlin was a very busy man… trying to become a god and all. His plans were sort of in its early stages and was coming along nicely.

"…and then I'll go back in time to kill him," he concluded, shutting his book then jotting down some key notes on a piece of parchment. That was enough for today. Tomorrow he would start plotting STEP SIX. Raistlin sipped his herbal tea after checking that it hadn't been tampered with. Which was silly, since he hadn't seen Dalamar for the past few days due to the somewhat unfortunate event that involved a glass of wine mixed with… some… special… uh. Herbs.

Either that, or he was with the Head Mages. That little bastard elf spy. Raistlin's lips twisted. The mage got up from his seat and started to whisper the words of a spell that would take him to his lab. He still hadn't found a way to create life yet. It really sucked, pleaseexcusemymorderndayslang. The only thing he could manage was little bubbly slugs. One was named Jake. Jake was the fat greenish one.

Raistlin abruptly cut off his spell when he heard a desperate knock on the door. He hastily sat back down and made it looked like he was reading intently. "Enter." He said with an impatient tone.

Dalamar burst in, nearly tripping over a black robes. The elf looked flustered and angry. He was also clutching his stomach in pain. Taking a deep breath, words spilled from his mouth.

"At the age of ten I had an imaginary friend named Hickorysnicks. My mother beats me with a sock whenever I did something bad. I have an unknown brother I've never said anything about because he was prettier than me. I was the one who broke your magic wand. Three weeks ago I snuck out for a mug of ale. I used to have a big crush on Alhana Starbreeze. And I was the one who put laxatives in your drink."

"There, there…" Raistlin said gently, "that wasn't so bad."

Feeling the effects of the spell wear off, Dalamar flushed. He glared at Raistlin with such coldness, he would've buried the earth seven miles deep with ice. "That was dirty."

"All I did was slip some of my truth potion in your drink that made your tummy hurt until you told me a few secretes." Raistlin said, going back to his book, "I'm surprised you lasted five days."

"I'm flattered, Shalafi, but it took me three to climb up here."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"What you doing?"

"Waiting."

"Oh." The gully dwarf named Hegg stood for a moment, perplexed. "What you wait for?"

Bupu stared fixedly at the sky. "Someone," she replied minutes after, but it was too late. Hegg was gone. He had seen a piece of brown thing fluttering in the breeze and had rudely left to go chase after it. It turned out that the brown thing was a piece of leather left over from somebody's old boot. Obviously that person had ate the rest of it. Hegg crammed it into his mouth and trotted happily away.

Bupu waited.

She had waited for a long time. Apparently the gully dwarf was getting sick of it. Two weeks straight and he still didn't come. (It was actually six days, by our way of counting.) Bupu frowned. It was obvious that Raistlin must be somewhere else. It she didn't take her long to figure that he wasn't coming. She would just have to come to him. It all about logic, really.

She opened her bag and eyed her inventory critically. Yup. That was all she needed. Bupu stood up, brushing off the dust one would acquire from six days (I mean, two weeks) of sitting in one spot. Ignoring the shocked looks of the nearby gully dwarves (they thought she was dead), she headed in the direction of her beloved.

Which was actually the long way around if you believed that the world was a sphere.

That was when the W.U.S.S. Fairy saw The Problem.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The W.U.S.S. Fairy was a pretty little thing with a big knack for screwing things up. He doesn't mean to, just like how kenders can't help but steal things. It was his nature. And yes, The W.U.S.S. Fairy was of the male gender. By all means, he didn't wear a puffy dress with sparkly stars all over. It was casual Friday today. He wore a pair of black slacks and a green turtleneck sweater. Oh yeeaah… it was the essence of MANLINESS. The only thing that ruined the whole attire was his lovely, delicate butterfly wings. Those weren't an option. They were certainly beautiful and all the girl fairies were jealous. Such a pretty rosy pink color too… and the purple accents just made it absolutely perfect. Oh, and since you were probably wondering, W.U.S.S. stood for Wish Upon a Shooting Star.

_Red alert, red alert…_

"Ohhhh baby, baby! Hoooow was I sah-pose tah know…?"

_Red alert, red alert…_

"Thaaaat somethang wasn't right, hereeeee.. Oh prit-tee bab-ahh.. Huh? Crap. Oh. Wut."

The Fairy swiped the headphones off his ears and glanced up at his compootah screen. After reading what it said (five times, just to be sure), he stood up from his wheelie chair, spilling cracker flakes everywhere. It was cute in the way he made little meeping sounds… like little baby chickens that were feeble and dying.

The Fairy wrung his hands and bit his lip as the big screen flashed a dangerous blue color. "Oh gods, oh gods…" he muttered, waving his wand idly (which was also pink and purple as protocol demanded). The screen quit blinking and words started to appear.

_Wishing error Code 64 See manual under Impossible._

Sighing with relief, The Fairy magicked up a book with his wand. The book was thick and heavy. He also pulled out a manila folder. The folder was labeled 'Bupu'.

_"On the night of Shooting Star #836893386 one hundred and twenty-four participants had wished at the precise moment and was granted access to have their wish considered. All wishes went unfiltered (see code 89). One was selected to be automatically granted. Bupu, of the gully dwarf race, female…" The Fairy impatiently skipped down, "… wished that she wanted 'the pretty man'. AI has automatically assumed Black Robed Mage, Raistlin Magere…"_

The Fairy frowned and placed the report back into the folder. "Talk about Impossible…" he said in disbelief, "That Bupu is asking for more than a freakin' miracle." He laughed bitterly, "This is way over my caliber." Thumbing through the manual, he located Impossible. His eyes widened briefly as he read the tiny text.

"Well, rules are rules," The W.U.S.S Fairy said with a sigh, "I'm gonna need some help with this one…"

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End Chapter One.

Please R+R :3


	3. Ch 2: Dubbleyoo, yoo, es, es

Disclaimer: It's not my mess. Go pick it up yourself. O.o;

AN: Hey, guess what? I just realized how hard it is to say W.U.S.S. Hence, the title of this chapter. I've always called him the "wuss" fairy. Gosh.

i happy- Sorry for not answering back in chp. 1. Right after I updated, your review came in. Anywoo, thanks. I will! 8)

Petalwing- Yes! That's what I meant... not entirely slapstick. There's actually a plot... lol. Oh, and your wrong about Dalamar, he's one of my favorite characters! It's just that he's so easy to make fun of and I guess it's sort of like how little kids tease the person they have a crush on, I guess. That kind of relationship. Hmm.. RaistlinXkender? I'll have to check that out. :0

Dalamar Nightson- I pick on Dalamar because I like him, lol. I'm glad you like WUSS. Originally, he wasn't suppose to play a big part and appear at the end of the fic, but everything went along much smoother with him introduced early. I've read some of ESGAME, it's really great! XD (I'd read it all, but I have an undignified tedency to pluck ideas from other places, so I have to play it safe and not read any fanfics while I'm writing Simply Love.)

Evenstar02- Of course I'll update! I've worked pretty hard on this fanfic. I'll try to update at least once every three to six days, dear. :P Sorry, but there's no Dalamar in this chapter. He'll come up in the next one though!

Eeyore- Er.. Drug enhanced... plot...? I... see... -Hides pill wrappers- Um. Yah. I was in perfect mental condition when I wrote this. -Twitch- I've never read ella enchanted or seen the movie, but I'll take your word for it! Thanks for the heads up. 8)

**oooooooooooooo**

**Chapter 2 "Dubble-yoo, yoo, es, es."**

The god of black magic, Nuitari, sat on his tuffet, eating his curds and whey. Along came a spider and sat down beside-

**Squish.**

Nuitari lifted his bowl to inspect the devastating results. He had spilled his wheys, but there was nothing wrong with the curds. No. Wait… A limp spider leg twitched in his bowl.

"Well damn me to the Abyss," he said sullenly, throwing away his bowl and food. It landed on the floor with a crash. The food splattered, the bowl shattered… then picked itself up and walked away, hurt. "That's right, go put yourself in the trash," he snapped. It was foolish, he knew. They were designed to do just exactly that.

Now his dinner was ruined. The god obviously didn't require food, but that's just the point. Eating was something fun to do on occasions. It was something special. He had cooked it himself too. All those… seconds… of uh… hard labor… was… um, wasted. _Okay_, so it wasn't really that hard. However, he did gather the best ingredients on Krynn… and then did the rest with his god-awesome powers. I mean, could _you_ do that with _your_ god-awesome powers? Well? HA! Got ya there, didn't I! DIDN'T I?

Nuitari stood up, mulling over the thought of asking Lunitari for some brown sugar. He had used up all his. Although he hated to admit it, if you wanted the best curds with a side of whey, you'd be asking for Solunari's brown sugar.

But Nuitari would rather give up his godhood than ask Solunari for help. Lunitari was no better, but at least she wasn't as annoying.

The young god (he was one of the Children of Magic…), left his home and traveled through the vast emptiness of space to his cousin's moon.

"Vast emptiness, my ass," Nuitari muttered after an asteroid ran smacked into him. It veered off course and later destroyed a nearby planet that was inhabited by red tailed snails with purple shells that ate nails and lived in bucket pails. Nobody really gave a damn. Or a care.

Nuitari landed lightly on the red surface of Lunitari (the moon, not the actual goddess, mind you). He located the door after a few moments of searching through the craters. The door was the front entrance to Lunitari's home. A long time ago, the two gods and goddess of magic had built their houses on top of their moon's surface. This resulted in mass confusion and disbelief with the mortals. Elves were particularly the most nosy ones. Their elven sight had been a discomfort and when their curiosity was too much, they developed high powered telescopes. That was awful. Lunitari, who liked taking bubble baths, and Solunari, who liked walking around his house in the nude for reasons not said here, was very uncomfortable. Nuiatri didn't care at all until one of his black robed mages caught him reading an issue of Playboy.

And when the Night of the Eye came, it whole effect of the three moons being in the shape of an eye had been ruined with the three houses sitting there. You couldn't have houses in eyes. Think of all the eye drops you'd have to take.

With a silent agreement, they had moved their homes underground and destroyed all the high-powered telescopes on Kyrnn. But that was ancient history, before Huma and junk. The matter was long forgotten. Or ignored, for all those who have been caught running around naked in the comforts of your own home.

The dark god paused, staring mutely. Lunitari's door was slightly a jar. Nuitari glitched.

Whoops.

…Lunitari's door was slightly ajar. (Geez, look how funny that word looks.) Nuitari listened intently. He heard three voices. The one that was highly squealish was undoubtedly Solunari's, he could sense his light counterpart a mile away. The other voice was a female, hushed and indistinct. Possibly Lunitari's. As for the third… Nuitari could barely hear it.

He pushed open the door and silently crept in. The interior of Lunitari's house was definitely an eyesore. Imagine seeing nothing but all shades of red. Yeah. Ouch. The goddess was careful not to let Sargonnas in after the mistake of having him for tea once. Stupid bull.

Walking briskly and following the voices through a scarlet colored hallway, Nuitari found himself in a large room known as the room of Scrying. Normally the room was a deep rich red, but due to Solunari's presence, the walls gave off a pink glow. He heard the hushed giggles of both his cousins. The third voice belonged to a small fairy with purple and pink wings wearing a familiar puffy dress. It was currently hovering over Lunitari's shoulder, whispering a joke of some sort.

The room turned a ghastly shade of dark mahogany as Nuitari angrily stalked in. "What in the name of my mother's home are you scrying at?" he demanded. The giggles stopped. Lunitari was the first to take her hands of the scrying globe. She smiled vaguely and tilted her head. Solunari was having a harder time trying to stifle his laughter, but a nudge from Lunitari sobered him up.

"And what are you doing here, W.U.S.S.?" Nuitari said with a hint of murder in his voice.

The fairy flinched and shifted uncomfortably. He recovered though and frowned, swaying back and forth. "On business, lord." he said, "I required your assistance."

"Oh, and so you went to my cousins for that." Nuitari snapped.

"Well, you wouldn't like it anyway," Solunari spoke up, grinning happily, "It has something to do with one of your mages."

"Raistlin Majere," Lunitari said, her voice floating gently above Nuitari's enraged curses and Solunari's innocent teasing.

"WHAT?" Nuitari sprang up and made a grab for The Fairy with both hands. Nimbly dodging the first, but getting caught in the second, W.U.S.S. struggled against the crushing grip. Nuitari glanced at the globe. It featured Bupu cheerfully trying to catch some minnows with her patched up sandals. "What has the gully dwarf got to do with him?" he shook The Fairy in the most unhealthy way.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Solunari started swatting Nuitari's hand.

"Other one." Lunitari said helpfully.

Solunari swatted the right hand this time. The Fairy was released. It hovered dizzily.

"Bupu made a wish categorized as Impossible. Level ninety-seven wish. It would affect reality and time," W.U.S.S. explained as best as he could, "According to the manual, we can't grant it. However, Bupu hit the Jackpot, so her wish has to be done. No questions asked."

Nuitari fumed, "So why do you need our help?"

"Level ninety or higher wishes require god intervention," sniffed the Fairy, tugging idly on the tassels of his dress. Demigods at best, fairies could only do so much, "But I've already done the rest, all you need to do is get Bupu to Raistlin."

"That seems simple, why can't you do it?" Nuitari glanced suspiciously at the Fairy.

"I'm the Wish Upon a Shooting Star Fairy," came the strained reply, "not some 'oh-go-do-whatever-you-want' Fairy. My powers don't cover all the traveling."

"That would be The O.G.D.W.Y.W. Fairy!" Exclaimed Solunari for all the lack of dialogue he was getting. Lunitari absently patted her dim-witted cousin fondly.

"Other one," said Nuitari, backing away from Lunitari's touch and pointing to the grinning Solunari.

"No…" she said vacantly and continued patting, "I was right…" Nuitari ignored her as the Fairy and Solunari giggled.

"I'm not gonna sacrifice one of my best mages for some stupid wish that a gully dwarf made," he said resolutely.

The Fairy looked uneasy. Convincing Sol and Luni (nicknames) had been easy. Nuitari was expected to cause problems, particularly because it was one of his mages. Not only do the three represented the Magic on Kyrnn, but also the children. Solunari was the innocence, gullibility, and happiness of a child while Lunitari was the optimistic, but noncommittal dreamer and Nuitari was impudent and stubborn in his beliefs, but with the right choice of words, could become swayed to whatever side.

Apparently Lunitari saw this too. She gave Nuitari a sly smile.

"I'll tell your mommy how much of a bad little boy you are…" she taunted.

Nuitari twitched, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Lunitari sighed mournfully, "Oh dear… Auntie Takhisis would be so angry to find that her son has been keeping secrets…" She placed her hands on her cheeks in mock despair, "Bad lil' Nui didn't mention anything that one of his lil' mages is plotting against his own mother…"

Nuitari nervously looked around, "Okay, okay, I get it! Just shut up!" Lunitari grinned. The Fairy breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll get Bupu into that tower and I'm done, alright? Then I get to do something crazy to one of your mages too!" he hissed.

"Mine too?" Solunari asked.

"Yours especially." Nuitari gave a cruel and hollow laugh.

"Oh goodie!" Solunari clapped his hands together.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

****

Bupu marched determinedly through a swampy swamp that was infested by numerous types of insects. All were perfectly edible. So far the journey was making good progressed after thirty-ten days (which was really a little over thirteen days for all you non-gully dwarves). Bupu was pleased.

A juicy looking butterfly with pink and purple wings caught her attention and she plucked it from the air and was about to put it in her mouth, but with the amazing dexterity of a kender, the butterfly slipped free. It fluttered enticingly in front of her face. Bupu reached out. The butterfly flew up high out of her reach, then down again. After a few more tries with her hands, Bupu rummaged through her bag and drew out a formidable looking stick and waved it wildly. The butterfly seemed to reconsider teasing the gully dwarf and fluttered desperately away. Bupu followed it.

"You no get'way!" She yelled, her short legs wadded furiously through the soupy mud. The stick was getting to be alethal weapon.

The butterfly led the gully dwarf to a looming figure, dressed in robes so black, it didn't seem like black at all. It was hard to explain, so I'll leave it at that. Complicated designs were stitched on so delicately with so much detail, no mortal could have done it. A hazy dark aurora surrounded the mysterious person. The figure drew out a very pale hand with one finger extended out. The butterfly perched daintily on it. Two midnight eyes stared ominously from the hood.

"_Bupu_…" the figure whispered softly. The essence of evil resounded loudly, "_I've been searching for y_-"

Bupu let out a cry of victory and without another thought, slapped the stick down hard upon Nuitari's finger.

"Ow, _dammit_!" Nuitari said, drawing back and clutched his injured fingered. The Fairy snickered even though the stick had narrowly grazed his own wings. He hovered over Nuitari's head. The fairy was only visible as a butterfly in the mortal plane or sometimes not at all. However… there was one exception… but that's not important right now.

The thrill of triumph ended abruptly for the gully dwarf. She dropped the stick. It sunk into the swamp with a nasty 'bloop' sound. Bupu stood in awe, jaw hanging. Next to the young man in black was another younger looking man dressed in clean white robes. Mud did not have any affect on his clothes. His robes offered no hood unlike his opposite and his facial expression was almost like a kender. He would have looked quite majestic if he wasn't bent over, laughing his lungs out. However, what really caught Bupu's eye was the lady in the velvet red robe. She was extremely pretty in a childlike way. Her face had a day-dreamish look to it, as if she was always distracted or thinking of something. Not only that, but the red robes reminded Bupu of Raistlin.

"That's it, I'm going to blow her up into a million pieces…!" Nuitari was saying hotly. The Fairy yelped in alarm.

Solunari prodded the day-dreaming Lunitari with Bupu's stick, knowing that she was the only one who could stop Nuitari from spontaneously combusting the gully dwarf. The goddess was about to wander off somewhere, the silly little thing. She was thinking about rocks. And how that one over there was shaped oddly like a tree. It would have been funny if there were squirrels living in that tree shaped rock. But now that she thought about it, she worried about the squirrels who chipped there teeth trying to bore through it.

"I don't know…" she said, eyeing the rock, "but I think you should hurry up, Nuitari. I've got some squirrels to save." Her tone was curt and sharp. She was determined to warn every woodland creature that lived in this swamp of the treacherous fake tree that wasn't.

The gods and W.U.S.S. Fairy glanced at each other, lost. They shrugged.

"Alright! Alright! Let's get this over with." Nuitari grumbled, slightly wary of Lunitari's anger. He looked at Bupu, disgusted, "Okay, you, I'm going to teleport you the entrance of Majere's tower. You needn't go through the cursed grove. The tower gates will be opened for you, so just go in and locate Raistlin."

Bupu stared at him blankly.

Solunari rolled his eyes and gave Nuitari a kick on the shins. "Good grief, man! She's a gully dwarf! Be considerate, _she's _not like us!" He gave Bupu a nodding glance as if Nuitari was the real idiot. Kneeling down, Solunari smiled.

"You want pretty man?" He asked.

Bupu's face brightened. She nodded.

"This dummy will take you to pretty man," Solunari continued, pointing to his male cousin. Lunitari and Nuitari exchanged private glances at each other. The goddess smiled with amusement and the chaotic god smirked. The W.U.S.S. Fairy was still there, just not talking or doing anything worth mentioning.

Bupu nodded gravely, "Any more?"

"Go into tower when you there," Sol said.

The gully dwarf nodded once again and then tugged on Nuitari's robe, "Me want go now."

Nuitari edged away, snarling, "Yes, yes. Don't touch me!" He raised his hands, closed his eyes, and started to chant.

The W.U.S.S. Fairy flew in front of Nuitari's face and punched his nose. The god did not noticed. "Go, go…" he mouthed to Lunitari, then poked her diligently until she was paying attention.

The goddess wasted no time, drawing out a square-ish object out of nowhere, she handed it to Bupu. Bupu took it questioningly. It was white, with a long black tail. Lunitari smiled.

"Give this to the dark elf named Dalamar, little one," she said soothingly, "he lives with Raistlin. Give it to him as soon as you get there." She held Bupu with a mesmerizing stare, "Do you understand?"

The gully dwarf nodded solemnly, wrapping her arms around the smooth object. It rattled. She had understood completely. With a tiny flash, Bupu disappeared.

"Can we go now?" Nuitari said impatiently, coming out of his trance. He was concerned to find that his two cousins were grinning to themselves in the most unreassuringly fashion. He also noticed that his nose felt funny. As if something tiny had attempted to throw a decent punch…

The Fairy was currently standing on Solunari's shoulder, staring up at the sky and rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Yea!" Solunari said happily.

"Our job is done," Lunitari said mildly, "is it not?" She turned to the Fairy.

The Fairy grinned, "Sure is, now the wish will take affect soon."

Nuitari kicked up muddy waves gloomily, "A damn waste of a good mage. Raistlin wasn't meant to end up like this." He glowered at the Fairy, "Just you watch, I'll get him back. This isn't reality."

"Time will soon tell." The Fairy said, sticking out his tongue at Nuitari. "Farewell Lords and Mistress of Magic." With that, he waved his wave and twinkled out of sight in a shower of sparkly yellow stars. Lunitari shrugged her shoulders and disappeared too, followed by Solunari. Nuitari stood alone. He smiled mirthlessly and looked at his closed hand. In his palm was a tiny book call 'The W.U.S.S. Manual'.

"We will see about that." He chuckled. A sudden thought occurred to him.

"Dammit, I'm going to have to get some sort of special reading glasses for this," he muttered and then whisked himself away, back into his lunar home.

End Chapter Two.

R+R please!


	4. Ch 3: It

Disclaimer- YES I OWN IT! -Holds out stocks- SEE? STOCKS! NOW I OWN PART OF IT! No, not really, I kid. :'( 

AN: Oh, a little bit about Sol, Luni, and Nui here, since I forgot to put it up last chapter… Silly me. Those three were from another fanfic I started a long time ago. Yup, their personalities and everything were exactly the same as you saw back at chapter two… Sadly, the fanfic was a failure and never made it on the site. I lost interest in the story too (which involved them living as mortals for a year as punishment for wrecking havoc on Night of The Eye). It's somewhere in my hard drive collecting dust. Ironically, something pulled me back to them, so here they are now! I'm glad they got to play a part in Simply Love.

Oh! One more thing. If you look in my Bio, I have a two sketches of W.U.S.S. up for your viewing pleasure. I understand that some people would rather not see character pics (or maybe you would rather keep your eyes safe from my terrible drawings). You guys can imagine W.U.S.S. with a mohawk and a unibrow for all I care. This is what I see when I think of W.U.S.S., not you. Enjoy. :P

Dalamar Nightson- lol, thanks. xD Solunari is my favorite out of the three. :3

Click Clack- I... know... you. ; Your reviews don't count, sister dear. :P Thanks anywoo.

**oOo**

**Chapter 3 "It's about Time"**

_Somewhere in a nearby universe…_

The alarm clock rang. A boy in his early teens rose from his bed and stretched. What a glorious day! The sun was shinning, the birds were singing, and everything just felt dandy. After doing his toilet business, the boy ran downstairs to fix himself a healthy breakfast to start his productive day. He opened his freezer. It was crammed full with delicious breakfast pastries. Yesterday he had strudels, so today was waffle day! Selecting two blueberry eggo waffles, he turned to his toaster.

It wasn't there.

The boy staggered back, clutching his breakfast tightly, afraid that they might disappear too. He saw is whole life flush down the drain. Because if the toaster wasn't there, he couldn't make his breakfast.

And if he couldn't make his breakfast, he would starve.

And if he was starving, he wasn't getting the nutrition he was suppose to get daily.

Without his nutrition, he wouldn't think properly.

And if he couldn't think, he would fail his geometry test today.

Which would result in a dramatic change in his education (as in, downwards).

He would FAIL school. His dreams of being the world's greatest neurosurgeon and getting that master's degree in quantum mechanics was nothing but a pile of dog poo now.

The boy saw himself as a hobo.

He would be pushing a shopping cart.

Filled with dead animals.

And nobody would like him.

Thin water droplets ran down his hand. His frozen waffles were beginning to melt. All hope was lost, the boy placed the waffles down.

Or was going to.

They were stuck to his hand. He waved them frantically.

"I can't let go of my eggo!" He cried out in horror.

**ooooooooOOOOOooooooo**

Most people would hardly think the Tower of Palathas would have a kitchen. Raistlin himself hadn't known until a month later after he moved in. The kitchen was rarely used by both (humanoid) occupants of the tower. Obviously both Raistlin and Dalamar depended mostly on their magic to cook for them. The kitchen was small and dinky looking, but it did not have the same kind of gloominess the rest of the tower had. There were also stores of food in the pantry. It was mysteriously kept well-stocked no matter how much was taken out of it. It was creepy. Like, if you take a banana out, the next day there would be another banana inside. Isn't that freaky?

But so totally cool.

Dalamar wondered about this as he made his way to the kitchen. The mage was very hungry. He had skipped breakfast and lunch today. Too exhausted to conjure anything up, he decided to cook for himself. It wasn't the first time he had done it. The kitchen was the last resort the mage had used often when he needed something to eat. Dalamar opened the swinging doors. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the fireplace already blazing with fire (duh) and a dark clad figure with his head in the cupboards.

"Shalafi, what are you doing in here?" Dalamar asked, trying not to sound surprised.

Startled, Raistlin jumped, promptly bumping his head. He drew out and considered his position.

"I could ask you the same thing, apprentice," he countered swiftly.

All was silent except for the crackling of flames from the fire, who apparently had no interest whatsoever. The two mages looked at each other, feeling very, very awkward. Two stomachs growled simultaneously. Finally, Raistlin straightened up with a confident air, knowing that he was the master.

"It's about time we have a meal together," he said. Dalamar was about to reply, but Raistlin continued without interruption, "See if the guardian can locate the dinning room. It's a big tower, I'm sure there's one around here. Set up the table and get some drinks. Hot water, as usual, for me. I will cook. What would you like?"

"Just, um, s-salad, I guess…" Dalamar stuttered.

Raistlin whipped out an apron and a cool black chief's hat. He glared coolly at the dark elf. "Well? Be more specific." He frowned when Dalamar didn't answer quick enough. "Out with it, elf. Don't be a dimwit, what do you want in your salad?"

Dalamar picked up quickly. He was a fast learner.

"Forget the salad, I'll have a bowl of soup seasoned lightly with hot spices. Hold out with the meat. Fresh chopped fruits and some bread. Warmed, not toasted."

Raistlin nodded and turned away, already busy chopping thin slices of chicken. Dalamar hurried off to find the dining table.

Dinner was going to be very strange…

**oOo**

Raistlin and Dalamar sat across from each other. The table was a little less than seven feet long, but it was still considered big just for two people. The food was well prepared by Raistlin and smelled delicious. The table was neatly prepared along with the drinks. Dalamar had also done his job well. No one was eating or drinking however.

Raistlin was the first to make a move. After subtly throwing Dalamar's spoon in a corner, the dark elf had went to go pick it up (inwardly puzzled at how it ended up there). While Dalamar wasn't looking, Raistlin casted a spell over his tea. No poisons were found. Raistlin sipped it casually as Dalamar came back with a clean spoon.

Dalamar, on the other hand, had loaded himself up with antidotes beneath his robe. He cautiously ate his soup at first, but slowly warmed up to it. Raistlin was a surprisingly good cook. The bread proved excellent also and nobody in their right mind would poison fruit. It just wasn't right. (With the exception of apples.)

For the first few minutes, they ate in awkward silence.

"The food is very good."

"Thank you."

Minutes passed again. There was only the sound of clinking silverware.

"Who is Hickorysnicks?"

Dalamar checked a sigh, "Shalafi, are we still going on about that? Hickorysnicks was nothing more than an imaginary friend I had. He's gone now."

"Ah, along with your childhood and innocence?" Raistlin commented sagely. He was surprised to find that Dalamar paled with some sort of reaction.

"No," the dark elf said shortly, "he just disappeared one day. For some reason, I can't imagine him anymore." Aw, how sad.

"What did he look like?"

"I would rather not tell." Dalamar said dryly.

Raistlin shrugged.

They went back to eating.

Some time later, Raistlin erupted in a fit of coughs. Dalamar started to stand, but Raistlin shook his head. The spasm passed quickly.

"Are you alright, Shalafi?"

"Yes."

Raislin drank some tea. Dalamar started eating some fruit… and… yeah. …

It was pretty lame. Give me two coconuts and I could've gotten more discussion out of them.

"Pass the bread."

"Certainly." Dalamar handed over the basket containing the food in demand. He stared for a moment, then looked away. "You've got a little… something on your face, master," he motioned with his hand, using his own face as an example.

"Oh, thank you." Raistlin muttered, dabbing the indicated area with a hankie. Dalamar nodded.

They picked at their food some more. Golly-gee.

"It's been three months since you became my apprentice." Raistlin said suddenly. His face was serious.

Dalamar considered saying something like, '-and what a lovely three months it has been-', but it sound like he was sucking up. He tried '-I've learned a lot-', but it sounded stupid. The elf settled for a simple answer.

"Yes, Shalafi."

Raistlin sipped his tea and regarded Dalamar with a penetrating gaze. The elf didn't even blink.

"I was thinking…" he mused, sinking back into his chair. Seeing that the scrutiny was over, Dalamar went back to eating, but the dark elf was all ears. Raistlin's face became thoughtful, "maybe you can start assisting me with my experiments. I'm sure there's so much more to learn this way…" There was a note of sarcasm.

Dalamar paused, excited. He put down his spoon and looked at his master. There was a small smirk on Raistlin's lips. Through the haze of exhilaration, Dalamar was wary. He didn't like to think about it, but he suspected that his master knew that he was a spy.

"I agree," The dark elf said slowly, barely able to keep his smile off his face, "it would be a pleasure."

"Excellent," Raistlin murmured, pushing his plate away. "We'll start tomorrow. Get these dishes done and clean up. I'm going to bed." He got up and walked out of the room, leaving Dalamar to fend for himself from the dirty dishes of doom.

"Why is it," he muttered while stacking the bowls and gathering the cups, "that I feel like I've been tricked?"

**oOo**

About a week has passed and Dalamar proved to be an avid apprentice and assistant. Raistlin paid him very few compliments, but the dark elf had mostly been rewarded by being allowed to stay in the lab alone to work on his own experiments.

Raistlin now sat in his study, re-plotting STEP SEVEN. He was getting mixed up. The mage scribbled furiously, almost tearing his paper. Numerous books were piled high on top of his desk, most of them were blue leathered ones. "…then I'll leave her to die in the Abyss and challenge the Dark Queen next…" he muttered feverishly to himself.

There was a soft, but urgent knock on the door. Trouble already, Dalamar…? Tsk, tsk.

Raistlin didn't look up and continued writing, "Enter."

Dalamar came in. He looked a little bit edgy and breathless. "Shalafi, one of your live experiments has escaped. It was running loose about the tower."

Raistlin looked up, the word shock written on his face for only a quick moment. The last time he saw Jake the little bubbly slug could barely roll around, much less run about the tower. Perhaps it had mutated into something with legs. Raistlin kept the little fat slug in the equivalent holdings of a shoebox. It's chances of escape would be very likely. "And…?" he said.

Dalamar lowered his eyes to the ground for a brief moment, sighing. There was some visible internal struggle. When he looked up there was something on his smooth elven features I would like to call 'insanely calm with pure revulsion'.

"I was exiting the lab when I saw it. The… thing… was lingering in the shadows. When it saw me… It chased me until… I…" Something dawned upon the elf, "…finally locked it… inside my quarters." His face changed into panic, "My… things… not safe…" He broke off, looking very worried.

"I'm sure your things are fine." Raistlin snapped, getting up briskly. He headed for the door, "Come Dalamar."

"It knows my name, Shalafi," Dalamar trailed behind his master, seemingly in a state of shock. He had locked a monster in his own room. Terrible things could be happening. "It was looking for you too… It told me…"

Raistlin ignored the confused mumblings of his apprentice. So Jake had a mouth now with a pretty decent set of vocal chords. Impressive.

After a few flights down, they reached Dalamar's room. The elf undid the wizard lock and opened the door. A sickening odor washed over them. Dalamar groaned, almost afraid find out what the creature did to his living quarters. Raistlin's hand was in his pouch and his staff was pointed in front of him. Dalamar moved hastily aside as his master was about to cast a binding spell.

"_Spri_-" Was just about all he got out before a furry creature squealed with delight.

Throwing the square-ish white object to the astonished dark elf, Bupu ran over to Raistlin and clung on to his robes, grinning happily. "Raist!" The gully dwarf laughed, looking up at his face. It had been a long time… too long.

She felt the mage stiffened, but slowly, so slowly, she felt a gentle pat on her head.

"Bupu…?" Raistlin murmured questioningly.

End Chapter 3

**oOo**

R+R. I know there was some sever problems for the past few days. Hopefully that was the reason why I only got two reviews last chapter………………… oO;

I was practically going nuts waiting for SOMETHING. …Not that two is a bad number. I'm lucky enough to have that much, I know. I'm just overreacting. I swear, getting reviews is like getting drugs. Once I get one, I want MORE. … Ahem. I'll just go in a corner now and breathe deeply for a moment. -Eyes everyone-

-SE


	5. Ch 4: The Toaster

Disclaimer: I own nothing that isn't mine.

AN: Sorry about the somewhat deleyed chapter. State testing is coming up next week for me, so don't expect a quick update. I might have a filler chapter ready though.

Petalwing- Hehe. So now I must tell everyone to notify me if their on vacation so I can't update if they are. :D

Eeyore- Eep! I'm glad you do. :3

Onix Mage- Lol. Cute? As in, the pairing or the chapter? Either way, thanks!

Dalamar Nightson- As much as I look forward to your reviews (no lie!), don't worry about it! A missing review isn't going to kill me... I think... Thanks, I'm glad you like the drawings!

Evenstar02- An idiot? Heh heh, Solunari takes after his father, Paladine, a.k.a. Fizban.. You can probably assume the rest. :P

* * *

**Chapter four "The Toaster"**

_"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind." _

_-Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man._

**oOo**

Dalamar was at a lost for words. He watched his master hug the gully dwarf with a sort of creepy… affection. This was too weird. Apparently, she wasn't an experiment. He looked at the bizarre object the creature had thrown at him. It had two slots on top and knob on the side. And a cool little springy thing that went down, then popped back up. The knob had two words on both sides of it. One read 'high' and the other read 'low'. Dalamar pinched himself. It wasn't a dream. He even went so far as to poke Raistlin to see if he was an illusion. The Archmage didn't take any noticed to his apprentice, he was too busy talking to Bupu. Dalamar backed away, feeling the oddest feeling (besides disgust for this strange pair). His spine was tingling for some reason and he felt alerted.

The dark elf glanced about without turning his head. Something was going on, but his couldn't quite put his finger on it. Then it hit him. Not… literally though. Dalamar knew he had recognize this sensation. It was magic… but a different kind. This was nothing compared to his Shalafi!

He closed his eyes and concentrated, blocking out the sounds of Raistlin and Bupu's chatter. Dense waves of power radiated around him. It was hard to focus on. The source of the magic was in this room, it was near…

It was floating right next to him.

Dalamar opened his eyes and found himself face to face with a fairy. It looked back at Dalamar with a surprised, but polite smile. A pink and purple wand flashed in his eyes.

_Was that fairy a guy... in a dress? Oh gods, it-_

He blinked. The Fairy was gone. The elf shook his head, dazed. He had seen _something_, but what?

"Dalamar!"

The dark elf turned quickly, dropping the rectangular- squarish- thing down. It landed on the thick carpet with a dull thud.

"Shalafi, I sense something strange-"

"This is a friend of mine. Her name is Bupu," Raistlin interrupted with a private smile that made Dalamar stop right in his tracks. It was the sort of smile that couldn't be missed and could roused a great deal of uneasy suspicion. "And Bupu, this is my apprentice-"

"Dalamar the Dark Elf," Bupu finished solemnly. The two mages looked at her, surprised. She shrugged, "I know name from pretty lady."

"Oh… uh, yes. Hello Bupu," Dalamar replied dutifully, then narrowed his eyes, "Wait. How did you get through the grove?"

"Man in black robe take me," she said, her own little eyes were narrowed, although it looked to Dalamar that she was squinting. There's a difference. Squinting looked retarded.

Dalamar glanced at Raistlin, who was nodding.

"I did not hear the bell-"

"No need to interrogate her, apprentice," the human mage hissed warningly, "She's a **friend** of _mine_." Raistlin's eyes seemed glazed over. Dalamar arched a brow. He bowed his head respectfully and stepped back.

"Forgive me, master," he said in oiled tones, "Might I suggest that you two talk privately somewhere else? My quarters are hardly satisfactory for such a joyous occasion."

Raistlin nodded, "Come, little one, we will talk in my study." Taking Bupu by the hand, the mage walked off with the happy gully dwarf in tow.

As soon as Raistlin was well out of sight, Dalamar peered around his room and quietly shut the door. He wrinkled his nose. Ugh, stupid gully dwarf. The elf edged towards the center of the room.

"Alright, I know you're here. Show yourself!"

Nothing happened.

Dalamar tried another tactic, "Did Par-Salian send you?"

Silence.

"Where are you?"

An overripe tomato could've made more noise.

"There's no use hiding."

Shhh… you can almost hear the vain about to burst from Dalamar's forehead…

The vain exploded. Theoretically speaking, otherwise there wouldn't be a Dalamar anymore.

"What did you do to Raistlin! Who is this gully dwarf? What's going to happen? _WHAT_ the HELL is _this? _!" Dalamar kicked viciously at the white… box-thing. It rattled discontently at the mistreatment. "By Nuitari, tell me!"

"It's called a toaster," said a miserable little voice, "A kitchen appliance that is used for toasting by exposure to electrically heated wire coils." The voice paused. "You put your waffles in it," it added meekly.

Dalamar jumped three feet into the air. He twisted around, turning to where the voice was coming from. His bed was the ideal hiding spot. Dalamar tore open the covers and blankets. He lifted his pillows and threw them off.

"Who are you?" he cried, "Why do you sound so familiar?"

"You're better off not knowing." The voice said sternly. Power was hidden beneath the high pitched sound. "Now get going, Dalamar Argent. This is going to be rough on you. The toaster will help. Take it with you to the lab and keep it near, now there's a good elf…"

Dalamar found himself doing exactly that. He calmly picked up the toaster and headed to the lab. When he got there, he had no idea what he was suppose to do. Looking at the toaster, he pushed down on the springy lever and waited for it to pop back up. The dark elf repeated this process until Raistlin called him up for dinner.

Dinner was going to very, very freaky.

**oOo**

The soft footsteps of Dalamar quickly went away. The W.U.S.S. Fairy crawled out from underneath the elf's bed. He would have to be careful around Dalamar since he obviously possessed the uncanny ability to see and hear Fairies.

"…still…" The fairy sighed. It was a rare gift, but not unheard of.

The Fairy shook his stiff wings and was about to take off if only he hadn't tripped over his dress. Landing flat on his face, The Fairy uttered few words of profanity and got up. He would never ever in a bajillion years get use to this.

The Fairy glanced casually at his digital watch. Oh gods, he was late! With a hasty wave of his wand, he exploded into a million sparkles.

**oOo**

The three rulers of Magic was currently having afternoon tea. It was Nuitari's turn as host, so the other two were sitting comfortably on black beanbag chairs in the shape of skulls. The view from Nuitari's moon was rather lovely since it wasn't spoiled by effect of Lunitari's red glow or Solunari's blinding light.

"He's late," Nuitari commented, pacing back and forth. Lunitari sipped her tea, ignoring her bad-tempered cousin and wondering why circles couldn't have edges. Solunari was preoccupied filling his own tea cup with many sugar lumps.

"Why don't we scry on Raistlin, see how he's doing," Solunari suggested. Lunitari coughed loudly and vigorously shook her head, but the damaged was done.

Nuitari frowned, "I rather not." Lunitari relaxed. "Let's see how Dalamar is fairing," he continued.

Lunitari stiffened and Solunari sat stock still. They watched Nuitari cautiously as the dark god placed his hands on a dimly glowing orb. An image shot up and all three of them looked up at the big screen. A hazy picture of Dalamar showed that he was sitting alone with one hand resting on a table to support his head. The other hand was monotonously pushing the toaster with one finger.

_"Spring goes up, spring goes down.  
Spring goes up, spring goes down.  
Spring goes up, spring goes down.  
Spring goes up, spring goes down.  
Spring goes up, spring goes down…" _

The W.U.S.S. Fairy came in, smiling gaily, "Hey guys! I brought my own tea cup." He held up the cup in question. It featured an orange design of a giant marshmallow that said 'Bite me, I'm fluffy'.

"Sorry I'm late, but something came up and I… had… to-" He looked at the orb then at the image of Dalamar in terror.

_"Spring goes up, spring goes down.  
Spring goes up, spring goes down.  
Spring goes up, spring goes down.  
Whee-hee… it went up again!  
Spring goes up, spring goes down.  
Spring goes up, spring goes down…"_

Nuitari faced The Fairy, a terrible smile on his pale lips. The Fairy smiled back, only more meek and pathetic.

"Not only did you take my best mage," Nuitari said, using a dangerous tone, "but you gave his apprentice a foreign object from another universe. Are you aware of how much reality you are going to disturb?"

"You wouldn't have complained if it was one of my mages…" Solunari muttered within the depths of his sugarfied tea. Lunitari silently agreed.

"But-…I-" The Fairy began, "It's just a toaster. Reality is going to be whacked anyway so why not-"

Nuitari snatched the Fairy and started squeezing W.U.S.S. like a stress ball. Lunitari stood up lazily. She was momentarily touched by the Fairy for taking the blame of something that she did.

"It was my doing. I gave The Toaster to Dalamar." She placed her cup primly down on the table. Her distant eyes were not so distant anymore.

"You gave him _The_ Toaster!" Both Nuitari and The Fairy went. Lunitari nodded gravely. W.U.S.S. wriggled free and opened his mouth.

"Gentlemen, do you have a problem with that?" The goddess asked sweetly.

W.U.S.S. snapped shut. His lower lip trembled and his face was a little red. He seemed angry, which was a rare emotion for the anxious Fairy. Lunitari's eyes glowed a hazardous magenta. The Fairy swallowed his irritation and nodded slowly.

"There's no problem," he said tightly. He flew to the table and sat down on a mini bean bag that was summoned just for him. The W.U.S.S. Fairy moodily filled his cup with tea and drank it plain.

"There is for me!" Nuitari cut in, his voice unnecessarily loud, "_Two_ of MY mages! I want something in return."

"You may ridicule any of mine and Solunari's mages to get even, Nuitari," said the goddess, ignoring Solunari's gurgle of protest. "Wasn't that the agreement in the first place?"

Nuitari fumed a bit, but eventually nodded. He sat down and grabbed his saucer.

Solunari tilted his head and grinned. "Cheers!" He lifted his cup in a casual toast and drank heartily. The others nodded grimly and drank.

_"Spring goes up, spring goes down!  
Oh my gosh, there it goes again!  
Spring goes up, spring goes down!  
Woo!"_

Dalamar continued, getting really enthusiastic about it. It seemed to him that after the two hundreth, 'spring goes up, spring goes down', the activity proved amusing. The dark elf was unaware of the four pairs of eyes that watched him…

End Chapter Four

* * *

Please review. :D 


	6. Ch 5: The Color of Red

AN: Sorry again. My internet got discontected by my dad so I could 'study' for SAT testing. :P Yeaaah. Riiight.

Images: Take a peek at my bio. I got three new pictures up. One of Palin (who has nothing to do with the story) and two Dalamar pics. The first features (SD) chibi-him with The Toaster. Tee-hee. The second one is sorta um… different…? x3 Just take a look and hopefully you'll know what I mean. ;-;

Petalwing: -Wide eyed- Information about the Toaster is currently off limits. xX; As for it being magical... I can safely say no. Not yet, anyway. ;D

* * *

**Chapter Five "The Color of Red"**

Raistlin looked at himself in the mirror. He ran a comb through his white hair and then eyed it critically. The mage grabbed a strap of leather to tie up his hair. What was taking Dalamar so long? He needed to ask him something. In the middle of wrapping the loop to tie it off, he stopped, horrified.

_What was he doing?_

A part of him said that he was being stupid, the other one said, 'hurry up, you cad, she's waiting.' After a long and memorable (if not completely understandable) conversation with Bupu, he had left her in the dinning room. Using his magic, he prepared a meal that was waiting to be eaten. The mage had kindly excused himself to change and freshen up in his room. That's the problem with people these days. They worry too much about how they look. On the other hand, Bupu saves her time and energy by just doing whatever. And now they were making her wait. How rude.

Woah… wait. _'Freshen up'?_

Raistlin was so overcome with confusion, he sat down on his bed. His hand went to his head and he rubbed it. He should be wondering how and why Bupu was here. She couldn't have gotten through the cursed grove by herself. And how did she know where to find him in the first place? It was over a year since he last saw her.

_…_

But when he found her, sitting on Dalamar's bed, he had felt something. Then she ran up to him… and clung on his robes. He was happy. Why? Perhaps it was because he hadn't been in contact with any other of his old 'companions' for such a long time… Did he miss them? Was that why he had been happy to see Bupu? There was something unnatural happening. Like some sort of spell. Something wasn't right, he didn't feel like himself.

_Your in looooove, baaaby!_

Raistlin sat up, alarmed.

"Shalafi? Are you in there?"

There was tap on his door. Raistlin opened it and jerked the startled Dalamar in. The elf regained his balanced quickly as Raistlin shut the door behind him.

"How do I look?"

Dalamar blinked, distracted. That odd presence of powerful magic was there again.

"Red," he said.

Raistlin frowned, "And?"

"You're wearing it." Dalamar tried to explain.

Raistlin stared at Dalamar, "Well obviously, I am."

Dalamar tried again, "I was thinking that you would wear the usual… black."

The Archmage gestured impatiently, "Just for tonight. Nuitari isn't going to throw a fit."

A large jet black rock suddenly crashed through the window of Raistlin's room. Glass flew everywhere, but bounced off the magical shields that both mages had spontaneously cast out. On the rock was a word in giant capital letters. The strange feeling Dalamar felt disappeared.

Hefting the heavy moon rock in the air, he gave Raistlin a sardonic smile. The word 'FIT' could be clearly seen.

"Well… he threw it."

* * *

Dalamar decided to play along with whatever the heck was happening. He had a feeling that there was nothing he could do about it anyway. It was bad enough that he was going to have to eat his dinner with a gully dwarf. After assisting and giving out advice to his Shalafi about what he should wear, Raistlin had told Dalamar curtly to change into something suitable.

And here was Dalamar now, wearing a spiffy high collared silk vest with a pretty leaf/vine pattern. It was black but shimmered a pleasing blue in the light. Ditto with the pants (yes, pants). The shimmery lavender sash he wore casually around his waist contrasted with the suit nicely. As if the hottie dark elf wasn't spiffy enough himself.

Raistlin sat side by side with Bupu at the other end of the table. The short gully dwarf was sitting on top of three puffy cushions and was cheerfully swinging her dangling legs. She wore the same thing Dalamar last saw her in, a dirty potato sack skirt and a grayish, oversized blouse. Raistlin was dressed in a stunningly plain red robe that was well worn and patched. Dalamar thought it looked like a traveling tunic. It, in fact, was.

"So… you're Bupu," Dalamar began the conversation lamely, "Shalafi has told me a lot about you." Which of course, wasn't true. The first time he had heard of such a name was back in the Prologue, if I remember correctly. You would think of the first impression he had received from a creature with a name that sounded like a sneeze.

Bupu's brow furrowed.

"Who is Shalafi?"

Dalamar rolled his eyes, but a glance from Raistlin told him that he should be on his best behavior.

"Shalafi is a term I use for Raistlin. It means 'master' in elven."

"Shalafi is Raist?"

"Yes."

"No."

Dalamar was taken aback. His face hinted a bit of crimson. Here was this gully dwarf… defying him. It was annoying. Like having an insect order you to stop moving so it can bite you. No doubt Raistlin found this amusing. Dalamar went back to eating. He would ignore the gully dwarf for now. Just let it slide…

"What have you been doing since I last saw you, Bupu?" Raistlin asked when the elf refused to take part in any more conversation.

Bupu paused in her eating. The food was… great. Raistlin probably made it. It was nothing like what she was eating back at home.

"Me learn new spells and have these…" Bupu reached into her bag drew out some very disgusting objects from her bag. However, the dark elf caught a glimpse of flashing jewels. He stared. Raistlin's eyes were also gleaming, but not for the same reason. He bent over Bupu and whispered something to her ear. Bupu looked confused. Raistlin drew out an emerald gem. Bupu beamed.

Apparently Dalamar was missing something. How did Bupu end up with so many precious gems? What was her connection with Raistlin? The dark elf shrugged off these thoughts. He wanted to get dinner over with. He ate fast without appearing to do so. However, when Raistlin and Bupu started discussing about 'old times' and the 'remember whens', he slowed down, listening.

**oOo**

Bupu laughed. She was happy. He looked happy. She was with Raistlin. Raistlin was with her. He had kept her pretty rock after all this time. In his pocket, within reach. At first, she had been mildly concerned why he was wearing black. In her dreams, he was always wearing red. She had remembered him that way. _The pretty man in red robes._ Seeing him dressed in black shattered that. But being the practical thing that she was, she didn't really care.

But he was wearing red now. She didn't expect that. He was wearing red.

Wearing red, just for her.

**oOo**

Raistlin smiled at Bupu. She looked so… delighted and cheerful. She was practically ecstatic when she found out that he had kept her gem after all this time. It was so easy to please her. What more could he do? She had helped him. Help him in so many ways, so many times without expecting anything in return. Just him. She gave him not only a priceless gem, but one of the earliest spell books by the great mage, Fistandantilus. Raistlin still had that book. It was in his library.

What else could he do for her though? What would a gully dwarf want? They were content with life as it is. He had found the answer while thinking in his room. When she first clung on to his robes, he saw a mixture of delight…

_Just by seeing him._

… a mixture of delight and… slight puzzlement? The way she held on to his robes was not like before. She held the material in her hands as if it was a foreign object. It was soft velvet and black, he realized, not the coarse red cotton that he had worn during his adventures. Nevertheless, she didn't make a fuss about it. She didn't question him. She was just happy to _see him_. Just him.

_No one… has ever..._

Red, he had thought, digging through his drawers. And then he found it. He thanked Nuitari that he had kept the worn out, red robe. Why? He never knew.

He also didn't know if Bupu would notice. Dalamar did though. That elf. Raistlin felt a moment of pity of his apprentice. He was probably confused, but he was handling it quite well.

Bupu suddenly tugged on the sleeve of his robe as politely as she could. Raistlin came out of his musings. That tug… it brought back memories. No longer hesitant about touching the garment, Bupu rubbed the rough material together, grinning.

Raistlin returned the grin with a small smile of his own.

"How long do you plan to stay here, Bupu? I can have a room prepared for you."

It was Dalamar. Raistlin looked at the elf with a cool gaze. The question had been phrased politely, but was spoken in a tone that was not warm or considerate. The elf's white skin was lightly shaded red. Jealous, are we? Or maybe embarrassed. Raistlin had to admit that he was being a bit too friendly with Bupu. A gully dwarf. It always came to that. If Bupu had been a human… or elf, would Dalamar still be acting this way?

"Bupu plans to stay for as long as she wants, apprentice," Raistlin watched with amusement as he saw the dark elf's face harden.

_And how long would that be?_

Raistlin's brows slightly rose. A telepathy mind link…? He was not aware that the dark elf was capable of it. Curious. It wasn't a hard spell to learn, but it wasted time and it was tedious to cast and recast. Why would he have such a spell stored in his head? Raistlin's eyes narrowed. Of course, the dark elf had other people to contact with it besides himself.

_That would be up to her._ Raistlin replied, taking a sip of water.

_She goes, Shalafi. She can't stay here, not with me._ Dalamar poked at his plate.

_Why, pray tell?_ Raistlin couldn't hide the nasty emotion that surrounded his comment. That was the problem with telepathy. You couldn't lie as easily.

_Sh- she's…well… smelly._

Raistlin sputtered in his drink. He stared at the dark elf. Dalamar ducked his head bashfully. Bupu, all the while, was being content with herself by seasoning her food with god-knows-what from her mysterious bag. She was talking and eating at the same time, retelling the tale of how Raistlin and she faced the dragon.

_She really needs to take a bath and clean herself. I can't stand her smell. It's like she's been in some kind of swamp. I may be a cast out, but I am still an elf. I can only tolerate so much._

_You are being incredibly spoiled and ill-mannered, Dalamar._

_I'm sure a lot of people would be too if Bupu was near them._

_What was that?_

_Um. Sorry. Inner personal thought… It slipped._ Dalamar abruptly cut off the mind link.

"The gully dwarf takes a bath." He said out loud.

"Or what?" Raistlin sneered. Bupu edged away, uneasy at the sound of his voice. She was bewildered. One moment they were talking about dragons and then all of a sudden the elf announced that a gully dwarf should take a bath.

Bath. Bupu had no definition for the new word. She didn't think heavily on it though. Staying silent, she listened to what Raistlin and Dalamar had to say to each other.

"She leaves." Dalamar said, crossing his arms.

Raistlin laughed shortly. It wasn't a nice sound. "What makes you think you can decide that, apprentice?"

"I- Erm. I won't make your tea anymore. I'll stop." Dalamar desperately lashed out with words.

Raistlin's jaw dropped. "You wouldn't."

Ah, so there was a soft spot… Dalamar drove his knife deeper in. "Oh yes, I would."

Raistlin silently cursed the dark elf. How could he have known? That was the only reason Raistlin allowed himself an apprentice in the first place. Once Caramon was gone, the Archmage needed someone willing to make his tea. Raistlin had tried to teach the tower guardians, but since their touch could only bring death, well, you could imagine what they did to tea leaves. Getting a slave seemed so… déclassé and a personal butler was too common among the rich.

What he needed was an apprentice. Yeah. And so Raistlin had posted up 'Apprentice Wanted' signs all over Palanthas. Young eager mages from all over Kyrnn came to get an interview with the infamous Raistlin. Needless to say, most of them were shocked to hear Raistlin's first question be, 'Can any of you make a decent cup of tea?'.

Dalamar had filled in all the necessary requirements for the job. Not only could he make a damn good pot of tea, but he had enough courage to put a little something extra in Raistlin's drink every now and then. Raistlin was pleased to find that the little habit kept him on his toes. Dalamar was better than Caramon in so many ways.

"Do you know that you're risking your apprenticeship with me?" Raistlin struck.

It was a deadly blow, but Dalamar was prepared.

"Honestly, Shalafi," he said smoothly, "How many people do you know can make better tea than me?"

No one. No one in this world could have made better tea than Dalamar. Dalamar was the Tea Master. Raistlin gave in.

"Alright fine."

"Fine what?" Dalamar asked.

"Bupu… can… take a bath." Raistlin said in disbelief.

And then it suddenly seemed stupid. They had been arguing over something idiotic. A gully dwarf taking a bath. Between them, they could've saved the world from all forms of gully dwarf abuse. But that would be another story. Dalamar's head shook and Raistlin shrugged.

"What's bath?" Bupu asked, glad that whatever they had been bickering about was over.

"It involves a lot of water," Dalamar said emotionlessly. There was a horrid glint in his eyes. The elf stood up.

Bupu dropped from her seat and took off.

End Chapter 5

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I live off of reviews, so what are you waiting for:0 Feed meh! 


	7. Ch 6: Bubble Baths and Magical Robes

Images: I'm pretty happy that I finally finished the "cover" art. I dunno why I did it. If Simply Love was a book, this is what you would find. Give it a glance and tell me what you think. (It's in my bio, as usual.) Raist came out so cute.

AN: Yes! This fic has been up for a month now (give or take a few days)!

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Dalamar Nightson- I swoon at your praise! XD Hehe, I love drawing Dalamar… he's so fun! I have so many sketches of him… -Shakes fist at Life- I hope it gets better for ya. ;-;

Ahn-Li Steffraini- Yes, I was beginning to realize that as I wrote the story. Bupu and Raistlin would make a nice couple. It's fairly easy for me to come up with situations with the two without feeling uncomfortable. (While still keeping them partially IC, of course…-.-U ) The things that Raistlin and Bupu share in common and their differences make a perfect plot…. Now if only I can write it… Thanks for reading, I'll do my best!

Eeyore- I don't expect anyone to know about the Toaster, lol. Believe it or not, it was based on my old broken toaster. O.o; That 'spring goes up, spring goes down' bit… I use to do that before I threw it out. :P

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**Chapter 6 "Bubble Baths and Magical Robes"**

_"But love is many things, none of them logical." _

_-William Goldman, The Princess Bride (Book Version)_

* * *

"You're just making this more difficult than it already is!" said Dalamar as he dragged Bupu into the washroom. He locked the door and slid onto the floor, exhausted.

After three hours of chasing the terrified gully dwarf non stop around the tower, Dalamar had cornered her in the kitchen and placed a binding spell on her. He had no idea what happened to Raistlin. His master took part in the chase for the first few minutes. Not even he was able to bring Bupu her senses. Dalamar guessed that Raistlin had taken to his bed.

The gully dwarf struggled with her magical bonds. Dalamar snapped his fingers and the wrap tightened.

"Raistlin isn't here," the elf hissed, "So are you going to be a good little dwarf or should I make you into one?"

Bupu squealed, but nodded. The bonds fell apart. She sat still. Dalamar got up and pulled on a hanging string that poured out water into the bath. As warmed water filled the tub, Dalamar turned to Bupu. Oh gods, what was he suppose to say?

"Have you ever taken a bath before? A bath like this?"

Of course Bupu shook her head no. Dalamar rolled his eyes to the heavens and prayed for mercy. None came.

"This is your new best friend," he said, handing Bupu a bar of sweet smelling soap, "When you get wet, rub yourself with this. It makes… bubbles… to… clean.. you." He plunged on, "And this is for your hair. You put some in your hand and-" he gestured helplessly, "-you wash your hair with it."

Bupu raised a brow, but did not question the dark elf. Some people were just too silly. Bubbles? To clean? She didn't completely understand the concept, but if it pleased Raistlin…

The bath was filled and Dalamar pulled the string again to stop the flow of water.

"Alright, you can jump in-"

And that's what Bupu did... Or was going to. Dalamar pulled her back.

"No! Stop. Take off your clothes firs-"

He bit off his tongue and made a mad dash for the door, "GAHH! No! _NOT_ in FRONT of _ME_!" Unfortunately his eyes were closed and this resulted running headlong into a wall.

Dalamar opened his eyes for the tiniest second to locate the door. The elf pried off the lock, opened it, went out, then slammed it shut. He sank to his knees and leaned his back against the door. There was a muffled cough. Dalamar looked up to find Raistlin staring at him. The golden eyed mage was a bit pale.

"I take it things went well?" he whispered.

Dalamar froze, "No- It wasn't like that… Ew. I mean, that was… just vile." He shuddered.

Raistlin relaxed. Both of them could hear water splashing.

"Oh, alright," said Raistlin, heading back up the stairs, "I was just checking to see if you caught her. I already have a room prepared for her. It's the second one to the left of yours. Good night."

"Yes, Shalafi. Good night."

Dalamar watched as his master left. He placed his head in his hands. By the gods, he was tired.

"_AHH! SOAP_!"

Dalamar groaned. He should've expected this. "You're not suppose to get it in your eyes. Dunk your head into the water and open them to get rid of the sting," he called out.

"!Why you not tell me before?"

"Because I forgot that your mental capabilities and assumptions are less than what most of us have."

There was no answer. Dalamar sighed and rested his head against the wooden door. A few seconds past. The elf smiled. It was finally quiet. No splashes or wails from-

"Oh bloody Abyss!" He cried, getting up, "Put your head up, Bupu, put your head up! The soap is gone! Your eyes are fine now! Get out of the water! Get up and breath DAMMIT."

He banged on the door. She didn't drown herself. She's not dead. She wasn't floating in the tub like a dead fish. RAISTLIN WAS GOING TO KILL HIM.

"What you want?" Came a wet reply. Dalamar felt the sudden urge to run into another wall.

"You didn't get any water up your nose, did you?"

"You stupid. I hold breath. Me all done now. You can come in."

Dalamar sighed thankfully and opened the door.

It was hard to miss the fact that there was a giant pile of white foamy bubbles in front of him. A pair of grayish brown eyes stared up at him. Dalamar backed away and closed the door.

"It's called rinsing, Bupu." He said gratefully… since it could have been worse, "You need to get the bubbles off. Just pull the string and rinse." Wearily, he sat back down.

A few moments later, water seeped out from underneath the door, soaking the dark elf and his spiffy black suit.

* * *

Raistlin made his way up to his room. He was tired. Never had he ran around tower like that… The exercise turned his legs into jelly. The mage felt himself smiling. He stopped and carefully rearrange his features into the dark scowl that he was usually wearing. How odd.

When the initial shock of overhearing Dalamar say 'take off your clothes' to Bupu was over, Raistlin had quickly gave an excuse to his apprentice to leave. It was too hilarious. He was afraid that he couldn't hold it in.

Raistlin entered his room and chuckled. It was just so funny. He laughed. Bupu and Dalamar.

Why would he even think of something like that?

Did he care?

Should he care?

* * *

Morning came without any further incidents. Actually, no, I lied. A lot of small minor things happened, but it would take too long for me to describe them all. The plot would not progress. I can blab about how many mice scampered about, the number of water droplets that fell, and how many oxygen molecules turned into carbon dioxide or how peacefully Bupu slept or the time when Raistlin woke up twice during the night to go to the bathroom and to get a glass of water. Dalamar would probably be the main point since he was the only one actually doing something besides sleeping.

For example, before going to bed, Dalamar cleaned his room and managed to get rid of Bupu's… 'enchanting'… scent. I can go on and on and on about that, but what would it amount to? Probably a few nasty reviews on how I wasted a whole chapter with meaningless scenes. It's not even adequate character development. However, Dalamar did end up with a very tidy room and four hours of sleep loss.

Which was why he wasn't at breakfast.

…Because of losing four hours of sleep, not because of his clean room.

Although that could be a possibility.

I'm not really sure.

But that's not the point.

The point is…

…RAISTLIN AND BUPU WERE ALONE TOGETHER.

But were they aware of that? No. They weren't. Not in that kind of sense.

Bupu was only capable of at least one emotion at a given time. She was currently feeling very overwhelmed. The fey gully dwarf was clean and groomed to the point of where no gully dwarf has ever imagined (or thought of) before. The mere feeling of cleanliness was a chilling experience for Bupu.

Some might say that she actually felt dirty by being clean, if you know what I mean.

Not only that, but there was this… tower. It was luxurious. No holes in the walls, spotless carpets, no mud… nothing was familiar except for Raistlin. But even the mage had changed. Bupu could not figure it out. She didn't like this 'change'. It probably was the black robes he wore. That must be it.

Would the black affect her too? Bupu looked at her newly acquired robes. They were the same material as Raistlin's. The dark elf was pretty firm about changing into something besides her old clothes.

The dark elf. Dalamar. Bupu didn't hate him, so that meant she liked him. He was funny and amusing. Raistlin had a brother, if memory served her right. Cara-something. Dalamar was probably his replacement. Another brother. Her thoughts did not dwell on this subject for long though.

She munched noisily on an apple, chomping down the core and all. Raistlin was still eating quietly at his own pace. His racking cough decided to kick in during the early portion of breakfast. He was unable to consume anything for several minutes. Lucky for him, Bupu had her dead lizard with her. Raistlin was currently wearing it around his neck.

"If you want, you may look out the window while you wait. The view is…" Raistlin searched around for the right word, "very nice." He did a nonchalant shrug. "The city of Palanthas is worth seeing, I suppose."

Bupu shook her head and took hold of his flowing sleeve, halting the mage's action of getting his spoon into his mouth. The spoon wavered but did not spill its contents. Raistlin smiled slightly.

"I'm not going anywhere. I just need time to finish my breakfast," he said, not mentioning that Bupu had been shoveling her food into her mouth at one hundred-plus miles per hour. It also felt uncomfortable to have somebody watch over you as you ate. Try it sometime.

"Go on," he said with a touch of impatience when Bupu did not move. It was like talking to Caramon all over again.

The gully dwarf let go, looking hurt. She got up from her chair. With an unsure backwards glance at Raistlin, she scuttled off towards the huge window. However, Bupu did not look out. She looked at him with a worried gaze.

_Stop acting like Caramon!_

Raistlin's mind screamed at the anger and unaccustomed guilt that he thought he had rid of long ago. They were both the same. Simple minded, pathetic, and always worried about him. Getting angry and snapping at them got you the same feeling as kicking a puppy. It was very unbecoming for an evil wizard such as Raistlin.

He wrestled with this mixed emotion and turned away, going back to his food.

Meanwhile Bupu pressed her chubby nose against the cold window glass. Straight down she could see the Shokian Grove. Further off, she saw the city. And what a big city. White walls sparkled in the morning light. It was quite a contrast with the dark atmosphere of the Tower. But between the white walls were tiny alleys. Grubby, dark, and dirty alleys. The kind where things like rats, the occasional dead body, and trash (I mean, food) were found. Maybe sometime later she could go there.

Metal clinked against a glass plate. Apparently Raistlin was finished eating. His flat mirror gaze fell upon Bupu.

The gully dwarf trotted up to him, "You will show me magic?" Raistlin blinked, uncomprehending. Bupu gibbered excitedly, "I know new magic. I will show you." Her face was filled with raw admiration, "But first I want to see you do your magic. I haven't seen in very long time. I know you stronger than before. You wear black robes now. Does black make you stronger?" Bupu gestured to her own clothes. Seeing that Raistlin wore his hood up, she mimicked his style. Flipping the piece of baggy velvet cloth over her head, Bupu looked questioningly at the Archmage.

Raistlin laughed softly.

"In a way, yes, it does," he said, taking a light whispery tone, "but at the same time, no, it does not. Appearences, clothes, or their color. White, red… black. It does not matter in the end. What counts is the content of one's-" He stopped. Bupu was listening, but try as she might, she did not understand. Raistlin sighed and reached over to gently pull off Bupu's hood.

"Giving you the robes was Dalamar's idea. He just wanted to keep everything uniform throughout. The robes are not magical in anyway." Raistlin flashed Bupu a very rare grin. "As cute as you look in them, you are still Bupu." He patted her head fondly.

The gully dwarf floundered in a cloud of pleasure. Cute? Her? Maybe the robes were magical afterall. Or maybe it was the bath. She had to admit, her skin was a shade lighter underneath all that dirt and her hair was actually a mellow wood brown, not the black streaked mass of oblivion she was use to seeing. However, Bupu still had her stout body and plump nose. But… the bath… the robes… she would have to thank Dalamar for all that.

"O-oh, let's go now," she babbled, still blushing about Raisltin's offhanded compliment. She took his sleeve and led him towards the door. "We go into study, yes? Or lab? You will show me your new spells. I really want to see…" she blabbered on.

Raistlin let himself drag along, deftly grabbing his staff as he got up.

_But unlike Caramon, she embraces my magic… and has a talent for them in her own way_. Raistlin hid his smile.

Just as they were before the door, it was opened by a bedraggled looking Dalamar. Under his arm was the Toaster while his other one was rubbing his sleepy eyes. His mouth was also holding a muffin.

Hastily balancing the muffin on the Toaster, Dalamar swallowed the part he bit off.

"Oh, Shalafi!" He took a step back and bobbed his head limply, "And, um, Miss Bupu." All signs of exhaustion was quickly removed. Dalamar looked at his master with suffocating eagerness. "Sorry about oversleeping. I can skip breakfast so we can summon the _dino-saurus_1 today. I've been reading over the spells and-"

Raistlin interrupted swiftly, "No, go ahead and break your fast. I apologize Dalamar, but the _dino-saurus_ will have to wait."

The elf was stricken.

"Hi," Bupu said belatedly and waved.

"Why? Am I not ready?" Dalamar ignored her.

"In case you have forgotten, but we have a guest to entertain," said Raistlin, "On top of which, I did not get the time to trace the summoning circle."

"Oh." Dalamar said. He absently toyed with the lever on the Toaster. It sprang back up in a forlorn sort of way.

"But you may study this…" Raistlin sighed. He felt badly for the elf who had looked so forward to this day. A slim book with night blue binding appeared in front of Dalamar. He took it and shifted the Toaster against his hip so he could leaf through the book.

"Fistandantilus' spell book.." Dalamar murmured. He could actually read it now. None of the words appeared unclear.

"Yes, well, you have Bupu to thank for that," Raistlin said, "And now, if you will excuse us…"

Dalamar bowed again, popping the muffin back into his mouth then mumbling, "Yes Shalafi." He went into the dinning room.

"What is that _thing_?" Raistlin muttered.

Bupu shrugged, "Toaster. I hear you put waffles in it."

"Ah."

End Chapter 6.

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_1- Dinosaur, really. It looks so much cooler in italics._

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Okay, you've read it, now review. :D Please.


	8. Ch 7: Sanity's End

AN: Ack, this was suppose to have more in it, but I cut this chapter short. I'm a bit behind due to a mild fever I had and yeah.. I bet you can tell that I was a bit delirious... xD Enjoy. 

Dalamar Nightson: Hehe, Inigo is so awesome! -Places hand over heart- But if it weren't for Buttercup, Westley would've reigned. XD Prince Humperdink isn't so bad either, just a bit power-hungry, is all. :P Oh, and The Albino, he's awesome too!

Evenstar02: Thank you! I kinda had the image of an overworked college student in my head… Poor Dalamar… :3

kari2500: Raistlin is a fun character to pair up with. :P Thank you for telling me my humor is unique. I feel so special now:D

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**Chapter 7 "Sanity's End"**

_"Pies can't have babies."_

-White Ninja, White Ninja Throws a Pie.

whiteninjacomics(dot)com

* * *

Nuitari dropped by at Solunari's moon. The god of white magic had missed two meetings in a row. Poker night and Laser Tag night. (In which Luni bested Nui fourteen out fifteen on both occasions.) Nuitari was slightly wary. Was Sol plotting something?

"Solunari?" he called out and knocked on the front door.

"Nui? Oh! Come in, its not locked."

Nuitari prodded the door open with his foot. It swung open. He half expected a bucket filled with iced water to pour down in front of him. There was nothing. Nuitari walked briskly through and peered in each room until he found his cousin.

Solunari was sitting in front of a large orb that was surround by several rows of tiny orbs. Nuitari thought it resembled the W.U.S.S. Fairy's compootah. He edged closer and studied the large orb. Pictures were flashing and moving and there were quite a few small boxes that listed spells. One of the boxes read:

_Rein Astoria (Elf)- White Robe- Minor- Light Spell - Accept or Decline?_

Sol hastily tapped the Accept button and moved on to the next box.

"Oooh," Nuitari said, "So that's what you've been doing…"

The light god nodded, "Yeah. Sorry about missing Laser Tag night. I keep on forgetting how tedious it is to have a mage of your order be Head of the Conclave. I'm a bit behind this week."

"Par-Salian?" Nui asked, looking at a box. It showed the Head of the Conclave teaching an outdoor lesson with a group of young mages that had just recently passed the Test.

"Yah."

"Demanding little bastard, isn't he?"

"You bet."

Solunari cleared the mess of pop-ups and leaned back against his chair. He briefly closed his eyes. Nuitari inspected the compootah look-alike. The Dark God's method for maintaining order was significantly different from Sol's.

"How does this work?"

Sol opened one eye and grinned, "Oh, you haven't seen this before? I can't blame ya. It's the latest stuff out now. W.U.S.S. has the most current version. Much faster and simpler. You see this spell request? I can either accept or decline spells or when I'm not around, I can put it on auto."

Nuitari was lost. "Oh," he said faintly, "can I try?"

"Do you think I'm stupid or something?" Sol sprang up and hugged the giant orb protectively, "I'm not trusting you."

Nuitari inwardly cursed.

"How about a break then?" he soothed, "You must be tired… or how about we play a game?"

Solunari swayed, "Weelllllll…."

"Just for a few mintures… It won't hurt…"

Solunari shook his head and crossed his arms, "Sorry. This is a BIG responsibility. I can't abandon-"

"OH MY GOSH!" Nui cried.

"What?" Sol screamed back.

"LUNI BAKED CUPCAKES!"

"Oh, no way… Nah-uh. You lie?" Solunari's eyes were wide, "CUPCAKES?"

"HECK YES. Let's go!" Nuitari crouched low and took a step towards the door, "RACE YA THERE! NO MAGIC! WINNER GETS ALL!"

"YOU'RE ON!" Solunari jumped up, "THOSE CUPCAKES ARE MINE!"

"ONETWOTHREE, GO!" Nuitari hollered. Solunari took off.

Nuitari saw a streak of white light racing towards Lunitari's home.

"Idiot.." The god of dark magic said as he took up Solunari's chair. He looked up at the big orb. He had no clue what to do. He tapped around.

_Password protected._

Nuitari blinked. Whatever the hell that meant.

Suddenly there was a pop up.

"A request?" Nui asked himself, "From Par-Salian? Erm. Gee. What should I do…" His finger hovered over the accept button. He eyed the screen where it showed Par-Salian demonstrating the light shield to the class….

**oOo**

Par-Salian nodded as each student successfully preformed the fireball spell. The whole class was doing very nicely. Except for…

"I would use a little more fur if I were you!" He called out to a slightly charred mage.

"-_kali Jalaran_!" finished the student meekly, who knew it was too late to do anything now.

There was a muffled explosion and a pitiful yelp. A few minutes later, everyone was huddled in a group discussion. Some looked quite pale.

"…and now we all know why it's important to know how much a 'pinch of fur' really is…." Par-Salian drawled, "… not 'half a pinch' as did Peter so carelessly thought."

"…May the gods bless his poor soul." The students chorused obediently.

"I will teach you the Shield spell next." The Head mage continued.

"A bit too late for that, really…" muttered Peter, who was bleeding and twitching on the ground. No one paid him any attention. The poor mage dragged his burnt body off to the medical ward.

"I will show you the affects of the Shield. I will need a volunteer. Anyone?"

Everyone eyed a red-robed mage who was known to have a bit of kender blood in him. He raised a hand. The hand was shaking.

"Um… I will…" Flen squeaked and hesitantly stepped forward.

"Right then." Par-Salian said cheerfully, "Stand right there. I want you to cast a fireball at me."

Flen's face brightened. "Come again?" he asked, just to make sure he heard correctly. Par-Salian nodded.

"I can't show you the Shield's affect without something to affect it with."

"Oh, alright. Here's it goes, Master. …_Ast kiranann Soth-aran/Suh kali Jalaran_!" The red robed mage said gleefully and threw a ball of sulfur at Par-Salian. It exploded…

**oOo**

Nuitari contemplated for a bit.

"Stupid Par-Salian has been working poor Sol to death," he muttered, "Hogging all his magic… One little missed spell won't hurt. He's teaching a class anyway. He doesn't really need it…"

Nuitari tapped the 'decline' button….

**oOo**

"Holy Nuitari, I think you killed him," shrieked a black robed student. She clutched Flen's shoulders and shook the dazed mage.

"That was bloody awesome…" he giggled, still feeling the ecstasy of casting a magic spell, "Hehe, get it? 'Bloody'? As in… all the blood… over there… tee-hee…"

He pointed at a burnt lump that was supposedly Par-Salian and cackled hysterically.

Several of the white robes had already fainted.

"Oh god, the lump is moving!" Someone screamed.

That sent everyone running off in different directions (the fainted and presumably dead excluded).

**oOo**

Solunari came back home very upset. Lunitari did not have any cupcakes. It turned out that she had two of her friends over, a young demigod that Sol privately thought was very pretty and Nuitari's twin sister, Zeboim. Worse than that, he came in right when they were painting their nails.

It was like walking into a pack of hungry wolves wearing a tuxedo made out of steak.

Thrusting his red-colored nails out of sight within his robes, Solunari entered his house. Nuitari was as good as dead.

"Oh Nui…" Solunari crooned, hiding a butcher knife the size of Sancrist behind his back, "Where are you…? I have… cupcakes..."

There was no answer.

"I know you're here…" Sol continued gaily, fingering the giant blade, "I can sense you as easily as you can sense-"

He dropped the butcher knife.

Nuitari glided in front of him and threw his arms out for a hug.

"Get it off, get it off!" Solunari squealed, struggling from the embrace.

"Oh my dear cousin," Nuitari said in a mellow voice, "I'm terribly sorry that I have tricked you. It wasn't very nice of me and I do apologize from the bottom of my heart. I will bake a special batch of cupcakes just for you."

Solunari's jaw dropped. He backed away and whispered, horrified, "What have you done with Nui?"

"It turns out, in fact, the great Par-Salian was…severely injured … on… accident."

Solunari picked up his knife. "Oh, so that's it."

"..but I managed to heal him," Nuitari said quickly, "You can see for yourself. I didn't do anything else. Plus, Luni said I could ridicule your mages…" He right eye started to twitch and he sniggered evilly.

Solunari lowered his knife and glared at Nuitari uneasily.

"I'll just leave now…" Nuitari started walking quickly away. His right eye was still twitching and every two steps he would utter a small, but unnerving giggle.

"W-wait… Nui. Are you… okay?"

"Never been better, Sol…"

"Are you sure?"

"Do you want another hug?" Nuitari whirled around and gave Solunari the world's most cheesiest smile.

"Stop scaring me!" Sol screamed and slammed the door shut on Nui.

* * *

_In Nuitari's home… Later that evening… morning… or whatever…_

Nuitari was curled up in a corner, rocking back and forth on his bum. Every three rocks he would giggle madly.

"I found it…" He said, grinning insanely to no one in particular. A piece of parchment appeared in front of him and he scribbled all over it. "Must plot… evil… hehe…"

Making Par-Salian unable to work his magic awoken something in Nuitari. He saw a whole new world open up to him.

Pranks.

He was addicted. He never pulled a major prank on anyone besides Solunari. It wasn't his place to, anyway. Sol was the innocence, wasn't he? Sol pulled pranks all the time… Nuitari had often wondered why it was so fun.

But now he knew.

"I must monitor myself, however…" Nuitari reasoned out loud, feeling the chilling sensation die down, "It's so perfect… I can do anything I want…" His eyes sparkled.

"They can't stop me… they promised…" he sang a random melody, "I will humiliate every damned white and red robed mage… they can't do anythiiiiing about it…!"

End chapter.

* * *

R&R please! 


	9. Ch 8: So clichéd

Disclaimer: A scene in this chapter features a section copied (and reworded slightly) from Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman's book, "Time of the Twins". I'm sure most of you will recognize it. I do not take credit for it and I apologize if any of you are offended with the rewording. I do not own Dragonlance. 

AN: OMGWTFBBQ! I'm back. Oh no. :0 Sorry for the delay. My fandom for dragonlance dimmed somewhat. Hehe. Other fanfics have kept me busy. -Cough-

Dalamar Nightson: Hehe. I have nothing against Par-Salian, surprisingly...

Evenstar02: If I had Dalamar in every chapter, it just wouldn't work. The poor elf needs a break from my abuse. But today's you're lucky day, Dalamar's in this chapter... Althouugh that might not be a good thing for him. lol.

kari2500: Squirms Thankies.. xD

Eeyore: Honestly, I'm glad you do. :O

* * *

**Chapter 8 "So clichéd"**

* * *

Dalamar entered his Shalafi's study. He wasn't surprised to find that Bupu was there. She was always with him now, wearing those black robes. The elf couldn't help but feel a bit left out and jealous. 

"Shalafi…" He said, bowing. Bupu said the exact same thing at the exact same time. Dalamar blinked, confused.

"Yes, Bupu?" Raistlin turned to the gully dwarf. Dalamar stared.

"She's reading your spell books!" He cried, "Are you mad?"

Raistlin gave Dalamar an amused smile, "Well, she is my new apprentice…"

"What?" Dalamar squeaked, "What about me?"

"What about you?"

"Well… I thought-"

Raistlin stood up regarding the young elf in silence, the look of horrified realization dawning on Dalamar's face reflected in the mages mirrorlike eyes. Then, slowly, Raistlin advance upon the young apprentice, his black robes rustling gently about his ankles. Stricken with terror, Dalamar could not move. Spells of protection slipped from his grasp. His mind could thing of nothing, expect two flat, emotionless, golden eyes.

Slowly, Raistlin lifted his hand and laid it gently upon Dalamar's chest, touching the young man's black robes with the tip of one finger.

Dalamar's face turned white, his eyes widen, he gasped. Raistlin traced his finger over the elf's chest.

Dalamar giggled.

"S-stop it!" he laughed uncontrollably and squirmed, "….tickles…. stop!"

Bupu regarded the elf coldly and snapped her book shut.

"I will make tea for you now," she said to Raistlin, who was still poking Dalamar.

The dark elf stopped laughing. His Shalafi removed his hand. Dalamar collapsed onto the floor, staring aimlessly. There was a dull throb on his chest…

"She… makes your tea now…?"

Raistlin walked around him without even a glance.

"Come, my apprentice and personal tea maker," He said to Bupu and then they left. Dalamar felt the need faint.

In a frenzy of inner pain, Dalamar ripped open his robes. Crimson red stained his chest in big bold letters. A dreaded word was burned onto his flesh, forever permanent.

'REJECTED'

**oOo**

His eyes flared open.

"AHH!" Dalamar screamed, flinging off his (bed) covers, "NO!"

The dark elf laid sweating on his bed, breathing heavily. He forced himself to sit up. Cautiously, he unbuttoned his night shirt and peered at his chest.

It was smooth, pale, and unmarked. Dalamar fell back, relieved. He stared vaguely at the ceiling.

Four days… four days…

It had been four days since Dalamar had a lesson with Raistlin. Four days since Raistlin had given him the slim volume of magic spells by Fistandantilus. Four days that Bupu had spent with his Shalafi.

Dalamar had been patient and considerate, but this was enough.

He got up from his bed and dressed himself. The Toaster was perched on top of his dresser. Dalamar gave it a paranoid look, but patted it reassuringly for no reason. It just seemed right.

For four days Raistlin had been neglecting his duties as Dalamar's shalafi and Master of the Tower. It was time to gently, but firmly, break it to him that being an evil mage did not include being friends with a gully dwarf.

The elf drew out his curtains, expecting the morning light to hit him full on the face.

Unfortunately it was still night.

Dalamar groaned and fell back into bed. Stupid dream.

**oOo**

It was early in the morning, but Bupu and Raistlin were already up. They still haven't finished talking about Raistlin's plans to become a god yet. They sat across from each other at his desk.

"…And then she'll help open the portal since she can't resist my charms," said Raistlin, reading over his notes.

Bupu nodded in agreement. Who could resist Raistlin? His plans were good, but the only thing Bupu didn't like was all the indirect seducing that was involved.

"I wonder, though, if-" Raistlin stopped suddenly and coughed. He clutched at his chest and covered his mouth, trying not to show Bupu that he spat out blood.

Bupu was already getting out her lizard. She leaned over and attempted to put it over Raistlin's head. However, the Archmage had other plans. He jerked his head out of the way.

"No…" he wheezed and choked on the phylum that built up in his throat. He shook his head and waved a feeble hand. Raistlin needed his tea. Where was Dalamar?

"No! You need this. Hold still!"

Bupu roughly grabbed Raistin by the collar and pulled him closer, waving the dead lizard near his face. She was either amazingly strong or Raistlin was amazingly weak, but both of them tumbled down. The mage bumped his head against the dulled corners of his desk and Bupu fell over him. It's very complicated to explain.

Gosh darn it, I absolutely hate clichéd scenes like this.

Now this is a classic awkward position found in practically all lame romance novels, anime, movies, or stories. You know how it goes, right? Guy and girl are alone. Girl slips and falls on guy (or vice-versa). Girl ends up on top of guy. They stare for a bit. Guy leans forward and kisses girl (or vice-versa). Then depending on the rating of the book/anime/movie, they would usually start making out.

This fic is rated T, for teen.

Therefore, kissing and tonguing are allowed. To an extent.

Bupu blinked.

Raistlin blinked.

They were silent for only a second.

Bupu grinned and placed the dead lizard around his neck.

"There! See? You all better now," she said, clapping her hands. Raistlin smiled.

"Sorry about this," he said, "but I need you to get off-"

Dalamar appeared beside them, holding the Toaster in his arms.

"Shalafi, we really need to talk," he said, his voice filled with determination. Realizing that Raistlin was currently more horizontal than vertical, the elf looked down at the pair and stared. He turned away, covering his hand over his mouth.

To write out the thoughts that whirled inside his head would be impossible.

"Need… chamber pot… must throw… up…"

Actually, Dalamar did a pretty good job summarizing it up himself.

Bupu got up from Raistlin and helped the mage back onto his feet.

"Dalamar, you have a very dirty mind," he said, smoothing out his robes.

But the elf was hyperventilating, "I thought- …But you were- she was-… on top-… down-… together- …on ground- …only assumed…! Trouble breathing- Rejected-on-chest-"

"I merely had a bad cough and since no one was there to fix my tea-" Raistlin cut in. Dalamar flinched, remembering the dream, "-Bupu had to use her magic. I'm afraid I wasn't prepared at all, and I fell, dragging her down with me."

"Oh…" said Dalamar weakly.

Raistlin remained silent for awhile.

"You said you wanted to talk to me," he prompted.

"Oh, yes…" Dalamar said, shifting the Toaster to one arm, "May I request that we talk privately?"

"You may."

Dalamar rolled his eyes, "May we talk privately, Shalafi?"

Raistlin nodded and murmured something into Bupu ear. The gully dwarf tilted her head, giving Dalamar a warning look then went outside the room. The dark elf silently watched her leave and did not make a sound until the door clicked shut.

He stared at Raistlin, letting his master feel his writhing anger show in his slanted gray eyes.

"What?" Raistlin snapped.

"As your only apprentice," Dalamar said with quiet malice, "I may have some priority to remind you where you stand. You are the Master of Past and Present. You are my Shalafi. You are a servant of Nuitari, a black robed Archmage. The Master of the Tower of Palanthas."

"I know where I stand, Dalamar," Raistlin said, turning away, "You have no-"

Dalamar grabbed his master and shook him by the shoulders.

"But lately, you haven't been any of these, have you?" he hissed, glad to hear that his voice didn't sound as hysterical as he felt.

Less than a second later, the elf received a full blow from a pair of mesmerizing golden eyes.

"I suggest you let go, apprentice."

Dalamar staggered back, releasing Raistlin from his grip. The two were locked in each other's gazes. Finally, Dalamar lowered his eyes. His Shalafi was back.

"Did you study the book I gave you?" Raistlin asked curtly.

Dalamar tossed the blue bound book with careless grace. Raistlin caught it.

"Memorized it, front to back."

"In four days?"

Dalamar smiled thinly, "There wasn't much for me to do."

"I see…" Raistlin was musing through his shelves. He selected a particularly thick volume and tossed it at the elf. "Read and memorize this."

The book fell into Dalamar's hands and smacked against his chest. His breath was knocked out.

"That's.. it?" he wheezed.

"Yes," Raistlin said, heading over to the door where Bupu was waiting.

"W-wait!" Dalamar placed the book on the ground and hurried to his mater's side, "Please, Shalafi! I haven't learned anything! We haven't conducted any experiments! I haven't done any magic. My mind is aching for that feeling again. For four days, Raistlin! That wonderful sensation, Shalafi… magic running through your blood. Don't you miss it too?"

Raistlin hung back. He looked at Dalamar with a sort of surprised expression.

"It… really hasn't cross my mind," he said eventually, "but I will worry about that later. I'm afraid we've kept Bupu out there too long."

Dalamar stared in disbelief.

"No, Shalafi. I need you today. I want your time. Just today."

There was something in his voice that made Raistlin stop once again.

"You were creating Life, remember? The slugs…" Dalamar was saying, "Jake… by all means, I think he should be dead now. You didn't feed him for four days…"

"By the gods, you're right!" Raistlin rasped. He had totally forgot about his creations. Dalamar blinked, not expecting to hit home.

"You will go to the lab with me?" he asked.

"Yes," Raistlin said, ignoring the look of victory in the elf's face, "but what will we do with Bupu?"

Bupu, Bupu, Bupu… it's always about her, Dalamar thought. Out loud, "Let her spend the day at Palanthas."

"Yes, I wanna go!" Called out Bupu. We can assume that she had been listening the whole time.

Raistlin looked slightly embarrassed. Dalamar was just relieved that the gully dwarf wanted to go.

"Then it's settled," Raistlin said, opening the door to let her in. Bupu instantly clung on to his robes. "Come, Dalamar. I will be in the lab."

He disappeared along with Bupu. Dalamar nodded absently and murmured the same spell, but not without glancing uneasily at Raistlin's desk…

* * *

The W.U.S.S. Fairy peeked out from behind Raistlin's desk. He was alone. The Fairy growled in frustration. Things were not going the way they were suppose to… 

He winked out of sight, leaving behind a colorful glow of haze.

* * *

Bupu walked amongst the civilians and travelers of Palanthas. She idly fingered the ruby colored bracelet Raistlin had given her so that she could return to the Tower at the end of the day. Dalamar warned her about thieves and kenders, so Bupu tucked the shiny object away, covering the bright garnet under her dirty sleeve. It felt better wearing her old clothes. 

The streets weren't jammed packed but it would still be considered crowded. More than once she received a few rubber necks.

"It's clean!" A young woman said in astonishment, pointing to the gully dwarf. And people would stare.

Bupu shied away, looking desperately for an escape from the curious eyes. Spying a dreary looking alley, she ran towards it, little shoes flopping desperately over cobblestones. Once she was safe in the alley's dark surroundings, the gully dwarf plopped herself down. She peered around to see if they were any rats running around.

"Bupu!"

A dirty hand shot out and grabbed her by the shoulder. Bupu whipped around and was prepared to knock the attacker down with her bag.

"Hegg!" she exclaimed once she recognized the other gully dwarf. And not just any gully dwarf…. Her apprentice.

Hegg stood before her, cowering in the most undignified manner. He was one of the few who really knew what was in Bupu's bag. He knew that it contained a lot of heavy things.

"Hegg, what you doing here?" Bupu demanded, slightly miffed that one of her subjects had followed her.

The young male gully dwarf rummaged through a bag that he also carried. It wasn't as big as his master's, but it was just as dirty. He pulled out a curious looking stick and held it up for Bupu to see.

"Me followed stick," he said, "it lead me to you."

Bupu glanced at the Stick of Finding and frowned. The stick was truly magical. All the wielder had to do was to throw it in the air and say the name of the person they wanted to find then… poof! The stick would land on the ground, pointing in the right direction. No, no… don't you dare tell me it is impossible that Hegg made it all the way from Xak Tsaroth to Palanthas. No, it wasn't just a weird coincidence either. The stick IS magical, I tell you.

"Why?" Bupu asked, crossing her arms.

Hegg tilted his head and shrugged. He stuffed the stick back into his bag.

"You left, not telling nobody. I came to find you," he said and leaned close to her. He sniffed, wrinkling his nose as he did. "You smell funny."

Bupu pulled away, tugging at her hair.

"Clean, I smell clean," she replied softly, almost guiltily. However, gully dwarves weren't particularly aware of that emotion. Too complicated.

Hegg blinked. Seeing that his master was somehow disturbed or bothered by something, he took her arm.

"Come, come! Me find rats for you!"

Bupu brightened, "Where?"

"Come, come!" was all Hegg said. Grinning, he lead her off deeper into the alley…

**oOo**

The orange sun dipped precautious under the stone white buildings of Palanthas, as if hesitant to touch the horizon…

Bupu was now as dirty and smelly as she was before Dalamar gave her the bath. Not bad for a day's work. She and Hegg had spent a fun-filled day together doing what gully dwarves may do. This might've involved drinking water from gutters, eating garbage, and stuff… er…

Bupu noticed the setting sun and her hand went straight to the ruby jewel on her arm. She would have to go back to Raistlin before dark.

"Me go now," she said to Hegg, giving him a fond smile, "Lots of fun today, huh?"

Hegg was making mud pies. He stopped and grinned happily.

"Okay!" he said, grabbing Bupu's hand with his own muddy one.

"Let go!" Bupu squealed and yanked her hand back.

Hegg obediently released her. He furrowed his thick hairy brows. "We not go home?"

"You go home, I go back to pretty man," Bupu explained.

"Pretty man? Where?" Hegg looked cautiously about. Of course he had heard about the pretty man. Bupu had often talked at length about him back at home.

"He live there." Bupu solemnly pointed to the Tower, it's black spiral tips just peeking over the top of Palanthas' buildings.

Hegg stared. The Tower was always sinister-looking and even more so during sunset. The gully dwarf's eyes widen.

"You not go back there," he said stubbornly, gripping Bupu's hand once more.

"No…" Bupu squirmed, "I want to go back. Go home Hegg!"

"Go back?"

Maybe it was the utterly bewildered tone in Hegg's voice that started it, or maybe it was the sheer thought of remembering where she stood back home…. but… there was this feeling…

A feeling so horribly complicated.

…And for no reason, tears started to fill her eyes. She repeated herself, louder, "Go home!"

Alarmed at the sight of his master crying, Hegg held her hand tighter. "Why?"

Bupu sniffled, "I love him." That much was true, but was there something else that held her back?

Hegg approached this with the grace of a fish on land, "Him human. He not love you."

Bupu suddenly rounded on him, slapping Hegg with her free hand.

"I don't care!" Bupu screamed, "I don't care! I love him! Go home!"

Hegg gawked at Bupu. He was hurt. His cheek was stinging and there was this oddest feeling around his chest that made his want to throw up or scream or… something.

"Fine!" he yelled, shoving Bupu away from him, "I go home!"

The two gully dwarves parted ways, throwing each other defiant glares. Hegg rubbed his aching cheek while Bupu tried to dry her eyes with the back of her hand.

The orange sun finally got the courage to graze against the point where the sky met the earth. It couldn't stay in one place forever… It slid down effortlessly, knowing that it would return in the morning.

* * *

End Chapter 8 


	10. Filler One

AN: Bad news. My laptop broke and I need to get it fixed. All the chapters are in there and I'm sure as hell not gonna about to try and re-type them. Until then, Simply Love will just have to wait. But just to show you that this story hasn't died, I made a filler! 

Oh dear god, say it isn't so! … Please enjoy it.

* * *

Filler Chapter One: Swoon

* * *

Luni and Nui were playing checkers. 

Luni was winning. By a lot. There was a nice pile of black checker chips on her side. Nui, sadly, only had three red ones.

"It's so quiet without Sol…" Lunitari said, sighing gently. She picked up one of her checker pieces and jumped two of Nuitari's.

"Yeah, but we never get to play a good game of checkers," Nuitari replied, frowning at her move. He thoughtfully considered his turn, "It's not very fun playing with three people." He scooted his piece up and leaned back, looking out his window. Solunari's moon was shadowed and showed like a thin silver strip in the blue-blackness of space.

"True…" Lunitari smiled. She eliminated the chip Nuitari had just moved with careless grace.

"I wonder what's he doing. When I talked to him, he said he had some things to take care of. I wonder…" Nuitari pressed his face against the window and squinted. "I think I see him. Look!"

Lunitari glanced up, interested, "Where?" She peered out.

"Oh.. you just missed him, I think…" Nui said. He swiped some of Lunitari's chips into his own pile and then added a few of his back onto the game board. "Your turn." He settled back down and tried to look inconspicuous.

Lunitari pouted, "Darn. I always miss seeing these kind of things…"

Nui didn't say anything. He wasn't very sure if she had meant seeing Solunari or him cheating. Either way, Luni stared at the board and appeared to not notice that there was a significant change in the game.

"Oh dear… and I thought I was winning too. I was about to end the game with my ultra special move."

Nuitari raised a brow and smacked his black panted lips. "Yeah, I noticed. But with my ultra special defensive move, I stopped you from doing so."

Lunitari idly fondled with a red checker piece that was at the far right corner of her side of the board. She rolled her eyes.

"Not so." She made an intricate weave throughout the table, tapping the red chip smartly with each hop. Nuitari's black pieces were quickly disappearing. When she was done, Lunitari scooped his fallen pieces and placed them into her pile.

"By golly, you've made it too easy."

"awkj$re&ghqwihergqkw58hyqowe&#orfehreykyrmusfd!"

Nuitari picked up the table and threw it in frustration. Lunitari smiled.

**oOo**

Solunari was prancing around stark naked in his silver moon home. There was no one to see him, was there? Perfect. He jumped on his bed, frolicked through the couches, and skipped happily through the lighted hallways. Solunari went back on the couch. It had the most bounce. It was fun!

"Whee-hee!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

The god had an exceptionally handsome humanoid form. Come on, ladies, stare. Yeahaaa... His glistening white hair fell wildly about his shoulders. He had the slim figure associated with mostly all mages, but his shoulders were slightly muscular. Along with his legs. Woo.

"I'M THE SEXIEST GOD!" He cried, waving his arms. He lost his balance suddenly and without further adu, fell heavily on his chest.

"Ow."

He got back up ad started jumping again.

"I'M HAVING SO MUCH F-" he choked as he stared down at his privates. Or tried to anyways. "Holy cow! There's black boxes on mee!"

He walked to the side. The black boxes followed him.

"They won't come off!" He walked backwards, then forwards, then did all sorts of other walks, but yet the black boxes still wouldn't come off.

_Well of course. This is a rated T fic, not M._

"What! Are you telling me that I have censor boxes on me!"

_Censor boxes? Dear me, you can only have one. It's censor 'box'. No plural._

"No… I have two," Solunari frowned then pointed at each one, "See? One.. Two."

_That's not right._

"How come?"

_Only females get two._

"Why?"

_You know what? Your questions are annoying me._

"Oh really? I'm sorry to hear that." Solunari said earnestly, "I just wanted to know why I only get-"

_JUST SHUT UP._

Solunari did. He blinked, very hurt and offended.

_ARE YOU REALLY THAT INNOCENT?_

"Well, technically, you made me that way-"

_SHUT UP! Just. Shut. Up._

"Well… can ya take the black boxes off? They look very unnatural." Solunari pleaded. He tried without much success to pull them off.

_FINE. I'll just leave. I don't want to see anything… that I'm not suppose to see._

Solunari nodded, "Bye, S.E.!"

There was no answer.

"Helllooo…?" Solunari waited patiently then shrugged. The god laughed and plucked the boxes from midair and threw them down. He was about to run free again when he saw a small puff of smoke. A puff of smoke followed by some twinkly lights could only mean one thing…

"Hey, Sol, I brought this one game called Scrabble," The W.U.S.S. Fairy floated in with a large game board in his hands. He was currently reading the rules, "It looks kinda silly. You make words out of these letters and-"

He dropped the game. Little letter pieces scattered everywhere. Ironically they ended up looking like: WTFOMG(Space piece)LOLMURDERZOINKSABANANA.

"Ohmygodwhatthehellowmyeyes!" The Fairy cried and covered his face, "FOR GOODNESS SAKE WHERE ARE YOUR CENSOR BOXES?"

And so the moral of the story is… don't go around naked without your censor boxes. Even in your own house.

And quite suddenly the table Nuitari had thrown landed on the W.U.S.S. Fairy, causing him to have permanent memory loss of the last five minutes that had happened. Those who are concern will be happy to know that he is still okay and will be functioning properly by the tenth chapter. Meanwhile, Solunari waited patiently for another table to come flying at his head so he could forget too.

Too bad it never happened.

The end.

* * *

No need to review this time... I doubt all of you are too speachless at my horrid display of writing and stupidity anyway. :P 


	11. Ch 9: Explain to me This

**A/N:** _(Sneaks chapter in) _Uh... yeah.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 9 "Explain to me this…"**

* * *

Jake was dead. The poor fat slug did not make it through the four days of neglection. Raistlin picked up his creation and flushed it down the toilet like a dead goldfish. Or, I mean, put it in the chamber pot…? I don't know. The gnomes are still fixing the kinks of indoor plumbing. Which, by the way, is going to be real big in a couple of years. Just you watch… It will be. No one will be able to live without it. Indoor plumbing is something special, all right. 

Raistlin was on his hands and knees, inscribing runes on the smooth stone floor with a piece of chalk. Dalamar stood not too far behind, reading over his Shalafi's notes. This the first time Raistlin had allowed Dalamar to help out with the experiments for creating life. Normally the dark elf would be standing on the sidelines, observing.

"You know, we elves have a belief about how life is created," Dalamar said conversationally, flicking through a book. He scanned the pages and placed it back down on the cluttered table. Raistlin paused briefly, rubbing the chalk against his fingers.

"Do tell," he said, mildly interested, "I haven't researched much about elves, perhaps their philosophy might contain a clue…"

Dalamar started.

"You… want me… to explain all that?"

Raistlin mentally sighed. Oh yes, he had forgotten how long and confusing the so-called philosophy of elves were. Especially on something imported such as the Creation of Life.

"Condensed version, please."

Dalamar nodded. He took a moment to reorganized his thoughts and began the shortened interpretation.

"You see, when a daddy elf and a mommy elf love each other veerrrrry much…" Dalamar began awkwardly.

"Funny. That's how I learned it too," Raistlin rolled his eyes, "Stop. Apprentice, that is not what I meant."

Dalamar snapped his mouth shut, looking very much relieved.

"My goal is to be able to create Life without the male and female interaction, information like that is probably irrelevant." Raistlin said, going back to his chalk drawings.

Dalamar paled. He started to back away.

"Umm, I don't think my body is ready for that kind of submission," Dalamar twiddled his thumbs, "I mean, I like you and all, but not that kind of like-like. And frankly, I don't think I'm mentally stable for this… I mean, there's got to be a reason why it has to be between a man and a woman, not man and another ma-"

Raistlin dropped his piece of chalk. He gaped at Dalamar.

Dalamar caught the look and blinked.

"_Ohh_, you meant-" he said, "Which is funny, because I thought… you know… when you said the bit about creating life without female and male interaction… Just scared me."

**o0o**

After a few more moments of silence and obeying many sharp commands , Dalamar was easily back on Raistlin's good side again. Soon the two were busy preparing the necessary things for their new experiment.

"It's really just like making a cake, isn't it?" Dalamar asked, stirring a giant cauldron with a ladle over a fire.

"No," Raistlin said flatly, grinding up a patch of herbs. He wasn't about it admit how easy it was to create a living thing, even if it did take the form of a slug. To be honest, it was exactly like baking a cake.

Dalamar still couldn't believe it. All it took was a little flour, some weeds, a few life-giving spells, various body parts, blood… and poof! You got yourself a little slug-like being. He just did not get how this soupy liquid could turn itself into something living. Meanwhile Raistlin hadn't been much of a help either. The archmage had a vague and distracted look about his face as he sat of his stool, grinding up herbs with a stone roller. The dark elf had to snap his master back into attention many times before he finally gave up and took over the whole project. Even Raistlin had seemed to given up on himself and was now staring idly out the window. Dalamar knew that this wasn't the musing his master usually did. It wasn't the brooding or scheming quietness he knew. It was more of...

... lovesick.

Dalamar fought down a gag. Lovesick? He did not know where he came up with that. The elf was a bit on the romantic side, but certainly not too far down there. Checking back a sigh, he placed the mixture in the middle of Raistlin's chalk drawing design. There was nothing more to do except say the magic incantation. For that, Dalamar needed Raistlin. The words of the spell were still to complex for him to read much to his dismay.

However, before Dalamar got the nerve to ask the daydreaming evil wizard, a cold chill ran up his spine. The elf leaped three feet into the air, almost smearing the chalk from the floor. Quick as a mouse, his silver eyes glanced about the room.

"Fairy!" Dalamar screamed and pointed.

The sudden random outburst managed to get Raistlin's attention. He pulled away from the window to glare at Dalamar.

"Dalamar, that's your index finger, not a fairy."

"No, Shalafi, I'm _pointing_ to it _with _my index finger!"

Even with the plausible explanation, Raistlin was still skeptical. Obviously, the archmagus did not have the ability of see fairies. All he saw was his crazed apprentice pointing at their coat rack in the corner.

"You tried to read my spell books again," Raistlin accused with a dark frown. The elf's eyes widen and he drop his hand to his side, shaking his head furiously.

"No... I-... It's over there-" Dalamar tried to explain helplessly but Raistlin had enough.

"Dalamar, if you wanted my attention, you should've just asked," he snapped, standing up. He strode over to the large laboratory table and started flipping through his large spell book. Ignoring the protesting elf, Raistlin went on citing the spell and hoped that Dalamar had the sense to pay attention. Sure enough, Dalamar became quiet, forgetting the nonsense about fairies. A crazy, but attentive and semi-loyal apprentice to heart.

Raistlin continued with the chant. The chalk circle lit with an eerie green glow...

**o0o**

The W.U.S.S. Fairy carefully edged his way on the laboratory table. After spending some time in the coat rack, he desperately wanted a better place to hide. Not only that, but the toaster was nearby. The W.U.S.S. Fariy would have to deal with it and now seemed like the perfect time. He didn't like the way it was getting close to Dalamar. It was freakish, a thing of some other universe. It was unnatural and it had to be destroyed. Lunitari was crazy to have brought it here.

With Dalamar and Raistlin distracted by the green glow of the circle, W.U.S.S. took his chance. His grabbed the toaster's black cord, trying to drag it away from the scene. However, the task would've been quite easier if the fairy hadn't been grabbed himself. He gave a surprised squeal.

"Gotcha," smirked Dalamar, dangling the poor fairy by the wings.

**o0o**

Dalamar wasn't crazy. He knew he wasn't. So when he saw the fairy so near the toaster against the light of the green glow, he knew he wasn't crazy.

Not at all.

Cursing under his breath, the elf moved as silently as he could. Much to his relief the fairy hadn't disappeared the moment he blinked, which proved that he wasn't hallucinating. He couldn't believe how easy it was to simply reach over and yank the fairy into the air.

However, the problem came when the fairy gave a shriek and swung the toaster by its tail at him. Dalamar had no choice but to take cover. Letting go of the winged devil, he ducked. He felt the toaster whoosh by and it was one of those moments that were made to be seen in slow motion.

The toaster flew through the air, narrowly missing Raistlin's head. In a graceful ark, it landed beautifully in the heart of the archmagus' spell. There was a brilliant red flash and then there was Raistlin, looking furious.

"What have you done?" he shouted right before the explosion.

And then the world went black.

**o0o**

The laboratory was not a mess... unless you considered two bundles of black robes on the floor to be one. One of the bundles groaned out loud and slowly rose up.

Dalamar took a look about his person, surprised to find himself healthy and not in pain. The explosion had been quite a doozy and yet here he was... alive. He looked down at Raistlin and almost wished that the same could not be said for his master. Taking advantage of Raistlin's unconscious state, Dalamar scooted away and braced himself for a lecture or a fireball spell. Meanwhile, he took another look around the room, finding the place exactly as he had last seen it... not in shambles. Actually, it cleaner than before. Dalamar's brows started to furrow but was too busy in the process of shooting up in disbelief with what he saw next.

In the middle of the room, rocking back and forth like a wild animal waiting to pounce was the toaster. The elf took a step closer and was rewarded by the sight of the kitchen appliance flicking its black cord like a tail. It shuddered and rattled. Somehow, Dalamar thought it almost sounded like a growl.

"Bloody Abyss, what is that?" asked Raistlin from his crouched position on the floor. Dalamar dared not whisper back. The toaster was taking baby steps closer to the two evil mages. It had a menacing demeanor or pure malice.

Raistlin looked at Dalamar.

Dalamar looked at Raistlin.

The toaster looked at neither of them since it lacked eyes but even if it did, it wouldn't have been looking at them.

It sprang into action, lever moving wildly up and down. It zipped passed the two mages, pouncing at a certain spot on the ground.

"The fairy!" Dalamar exclaimed.

"I thought you said it was a toaster," Raistlin said, confused.

"No-," began Dalamar, but then shook his head, "Nevermind!"

The elf watched the amazing spectacle as the toaster wrestled with the fairy. The outcome of the battle was fairly obvious. The Fairy was squealing bloody murder as the toaster merciless body slammed it several times. Finally the fairy pulled away, wings shriveled and bent. He looked at Dalamar pleadingly but when it got no response, it poofed away in a twinkle of stars.

Being the victor of the fight, the toaster clicked its lever proudly and trotted towards Dalamar. The dark elf was rendered speechless as it stopped at his feet and sat there constantly.

"Wow."

"Strange. It seems to be attached with you," Raistlin said, attempting to sound calm despite his disability to see what actually happened.

"We gave life to the toaster," said Dalamar, collecting his thoughts. He picked it up and the toaster wiggled happily, wrapping its tail around Dalamar's arm.

"Hm... meaning we have the power to insert 'life' into objects..." Raistlin mused.

Dalamar nodded, "What a breakthrough! Now aren't you glad that we took some time off from that gully dwar-"

He was interrupted by a bell that echoed throughout the tower. The elf frowned, turning to Raistlin... but the archmage was already out the laboratory door, smiling to himself.

"Finally, she's back! I was worried that she might have gotten lost-" he was saying to himself.

Bupu was back.

The toaster's coils turned red hot, sizzling the air itself. Dalamar metaphorically fumed likewise.

* * *

End Chapter 9

Review please!


	12. Ch 10: Pick your Poison

A/N: Contrary to popular belief, this chapter is relevant and needed. Warning: The chapter contains unnecessary capitalized letters and would've had multiple exclamation marks had FF allowed it. Consider yourself lucky. Reviews will also be replied to via e-mail instead of here._ (pout)_

* * *

**Chapter 10 "Pick your Poison"**

* * *

Nobody liked the laundress. You'd be considered desperate if you did. The laundress who had thick black hair and slightly chubby thighs over a skinny frame. Her hands were always damp and smelling of starch or soap. She always appeared to be sweaty, but that wasn't the case. The sheen of water from her face came from looking over the giant cauldrons filled with dirty laundry, simmering in a mixture of gray water and soap.

The laundress could have been something great, like a fearless warrior or a faithful cleric. But here she was, washing robes, day in and day out.

Nobody liked the laundress because she was a girl of italics, always emphasizing words with her sharp tongue. And there was another obvious reason, but that's coming up soon, don't worry.

Nobody like the laundress, who was always complaining and nagging about how hard and thankless her job was. And yet, there she was, everyday, for the last three years. She was only sixteen years old.

Par-Salian stood glumly before the closed doors of the official laundry room in the Tower of High Sorcery at Wayreth, holding a sack filled with his dirty robes. There was a joke among the mages that going into the laundry room was like going into the Abyss itself. Par-Salian openly discouraged this joke.

…Because it wasn't one at all.

The Head mage sucked in a deep breath and went in. Hot air and steam blew into his face and the odd scent of flowers filled his nose. Yes, it was the Abyss. Giant pots were lined before him. Some were over a fire while others were simply filled with discarded robes that had yet to be washed.

There was also a rumor that the laundress used to be a child prodigy in the Magical Art and that one day, she tried to read an ancient spell book and promptly went mad. Par-Salian scoffed at the idea, but now he could not help but wonder. No matter how much laundry there was, she would always finish doing the job by the end of the day. There were many mages living in the Tower… plus there were bed sheets to be washed, pillow covers, and towels… That's a lot of laundry.

"Ah… the Great Par-Salian has come to visit me finally," said a cheerful voice.

The mage scanned each of the giant pots until he found one that had a girl stirring its contents with a paddle. The laundress stared at him and placed the paddle down. She wiped her wet hands on her blue apron and curtsied.

Par-Salian could not believe his luck. He had caught the laundress in a good mood. It was a rare moment. No one has ever caught the laundress in a good mood before.

"Let me guess…" the laundress said, beaming, "you came all the way from the tippy-top of your Tower to inform me that a certain _someone _has received a certain _promotion_…?"

Par-Salian blinked, confused.

"Um… Beg pardon?" He held out his sack of dirty clothes, "I.. just wanted you to clean-"

The change in the laundress' face was drastically horrifying.

"Do you _know_," she snapped, walking up to him and grabbing away the sack, "how _hard_ is it to get some appreciation around here? I've worked all day, all night just washing your clothes while you god-damn mages just sit around-"

"-so the stain's right here," Par-Salian said calmly, pulling out one of his soiled robes and pointing to the purple stain. Even though she was on one of her tangents, he knew the laundress was listening. "I spilt a bit of wine on it-"

"-_and you white robes are absolutely the worst. Always staining this, staining that! With all the brains you people have, you'd think you could've chosen a darker color_-"

"-and then this one here is in pretty bad shape," Par-Salian continued nonchalantly, "from a fireball accident I had. Burnt to a crisp, you see? Nothing you can't handle, I sure."

"-_not even paid decently for this. I could get more steel by being a damn whore on the streets. At least I'll enjoy it better than this crappy_-"

"-and that's it, really," Par-Salian hurried over to the exit, "Just wash the rest the way you do with the others. I have an important meeting coming up, so I want them ironed and pressed."

"-_or how about if I don't iron and press them? Then your robes could match the wrinkles on your face, ya old fart_," muttered the laundress, finishing her tangent. She held up the stain-free robes that she just finished cleaning with a critical eye and then dumped them into a bubbling pot.

Par-Salian decided to risk it now. For the sake of humanity.

"You are going to have to work overtime on Sunday, dear," he said, waiting for the volcano to explode, "we're planning a Conclave party of all sorts…"

"Anything else?" asked the laundress in a prim voice.

"Um… no?"

"_A simple 'thank you' could've been sufficient, but noooooooo…. Mister high and mighty can't even say two simple words_-" the laundress began again.

Par-Salian sighed and went out of the laundry room. He could still hear the girl raging from behind the door.

"-_didn't even bothered asking me if I enjoyed my Sundays, the insensitive old schmuck_-"

**o0o**

That evening…

The laundress was singing to herself quite loudly since there was no one to hear her. The song was really meant for a man to sing… but oh well, what the hey? The melody was light and happy, even if the words were sort of sad. She bobbed her head to the tune, stirring the cauldrons rhythmically.

Of course, the song would've had more effect if the laundress actually had a singing voice. Her voice was the sort that could shatter paper and crumble it into dust.

Sad, isn't it?

There was a knock on the door and the laundress promptly looked up and smiled evilly. No one ever knocked if they wanted to see her, that meant…

…Fresh meat.

Ah, yes… the new mages that just passed the Test would always knock. The poor timid things… Perfect! She rubbed her hands gleefully. A new cat to skin…

"'ello?" a boy came in, looking around curiously. He looked to be the same age as the laundress, perhaps a year younger maybe. Slung over his back was an extremely large bag. Judging by his black robes, he was a full fledged mage, but that couldn't be right, could it? He was way too young. The boy had a very pale face and long obsidian black hair that flowed loosely about his shoulders down to his waist. His eyes though… darker than his hair… had no boyish sparkle that was suppose to match his mischievous voice.

Catching sight of the laundress, the boy gave her a wicked looking grin and swung the bag down in front of her.

"Hello, I'm-"

Glaring heatedly at the bag, the laundress saw that it held of ton of dirty robes, mixed all together. Not… organized or even… color sorted… She exploded.

"_You just HAD to come now, didn't you? Too BUSY in the morning, huh? HUH? Not one thank you all day for three years and then you come_-"

The boy took a step back and put up his hands as if to ward off a demon, "Actually I was just-"

"-_I have feelings too, you know! I'm not just some washing machine. I have a life_-"

"Um.. I think you should calm down… maybe?"

"-calm? _Me?_ I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!" The laundress screamed, lifting a stirring paddle over her head.

"Wait, Tanya!" the boy yelped, resorting to desperate measures before he had his brains smashed.

Tanya lowered her paddle and burst in to tears. She hugged the boy tightly.

"That's the first time somebody called me by my real name," she sobbed, squeezing the boy with all her might. Somehow, having his brains smashed out didn't seem so bad after all, "Oh you sweet little child. May all the gods bless you and-"

"Um… I'm really much older than I look-"

"Please shut up. I am trying to convey my appreciation to you in a non-violient way."

"Oh, then please continue." the boy said meekly.

"-and such a cute little boy too… Hey. Wait a minute. Are you my long lost brother, by the way? How could you know my name?"

"It's about the laundry-" the boy began quickly, but Tanya had beaten him with the experience of a pro.

"-_not good enough for ya? I'd like to see you try it, mister. Keep complaining and someday you'll find a ton of starch up your ass and_-"

"No!" yelled the boy and slammed Tanya up against a wall without touching her. His hands glowed faintly from their magical radiance.

"-_that does it. I'm gonna sue this place and demand_-"

"Be quiet, will ya?" Nuitari pleaded, "I'm your substitute for tonight. You can go home and relax or do whatever you do for fun. I'm here to finish the laundry."

Tanya blinked, "Well, why didn't you say so?"

"You kept on interru-"

"Oh, did I?"

"Ye-"

"Sorry then."

"sss…." Nuitari sighed, wondering if Chemosh was willing to pull a few strings and grant the girl a one way express to the Abyss where his mother would be more than happy to flay her mangly body-

Tanya got up from the wall and took off her apron. She looked at the strange boy.

"You know how to wash clothes, right?"

"Of course. Don't worry about a thing…"

Tanya started to dance happily, "Alrightly, I'll be off now-"

Two figures entered the room. One was a pretty girl with a unique shade of dark red hair wearing a simple red dress and the other was a wide-eyed boy wearing a white robe with silver hair tied carelessly into a spiky tail. The obsidian-haired boy frowned darkly.

"Nui, what are you doing here?" The girl asked, placing her hands on her hips. Tanya noticed that her eyes glowed a hypnotic magenta color.

"Oh, you brought helpers!" Tanya clapped her hands together.

"You better not have done anything bad," the boy with the silver hair warned. He shook a finger at Nui.

The boy named Nui acted quickly. He snatched Tanya by the waist and pulled her close.

"Oh no! It looks like you two have found us out!" he cried dramatically.

"-_what the hell do you think you're doing? Let go of me or I'll-"_

Nuitari leaned close to Tanya's face and whispered into her ear.

"Play along and I'll buy you dinner," he hissed.

"My choice of tavern, but I'm no fool. Eat with me," she hissed back.

Nuitari drew back, "Are you kidding? Forget it then. I'm not that desperate."

Tanya sighed, "Fine. What about Sir Silver-hair over there? Hook me up with him?"

"I hate him as much as I hate all things pure and good, but even I would not condemn him to such a vulgar form of torture."

Tanya sighed again, but nodded. She tried…

"Oh darling," she swooned, "these must be your-"

"Cousins," Nuitari whispered.

"-cousins!"

Lunitari placed her hands over her mouth. "Nui, I didn't think-"

"But it's true!" Nuitari beamed. Tanya looked up at his face and could've sworn there was a throbbing vein.

"Wow, just like your sister!" Solunari said, "Ooohh… mortal lover…"

Lunitari clapped the back of Solunari's head, "I think it's very romantic!"

"Mortal…?" Tanya asked, confused.

"-a laundress at that too!" Sol stated.

Nuitari had to cover Tanya's mouth before the girl could say anything.

Lunitari's eyes widen, "And you haven't told her yet? Ooohhh…. This is so rich!"

"Yes, I was helping her do the laundry so that she can finish early and we could go out for dinner," he said flatly.

"Oh, we can finish it for you two then!" Luni said brightly.

Nuitari shook his head vigorously. "It's alright… um… I'm… uh…"

"An act of love!" Tanya swiftly saved him, "He's proving his love to me by doing the laundry!"

Luni and Sol stared in disbelief.

"That's so sweet!" Solunari sniffled, "Nui never does the laundry for me!"

"Or me!" Luni said, brushing a hand over her teary eyes.

"Now if you two could be so kind…" Tanya began as politely as she could, pressing her body meaningfully close against Nui's.

"Oh yes! We'll leave you two love birds alone! And don't worry, Nui! Your secret is safe with us!"

"Just leave, just leave, just leave," Nuitari muttered.

And so they left, giggling and giving the thumbs up at their shame-faced cousin.

When Tanya and Nuitari were absolutely sure they were alone, they took three giant steps back from each other. Both took a few moments to recover from the disturbing roles they had to play.

"Well, I'm glad that's over, now where's my dinner?" Tanya asked, holding out her hand.

Nuitari magicked up a pouch filled with the laundress' desired amount of steel. He handed it to her.

"You still doing the laundry?"

"Yeah, I'll be finish before sun-up," said Nuitari.

"Then I won't be back till then," Tanya grinned happily. She ran out the door without another word.

Nuitari rubbed his hands together and laughed.

"Begin step one…" he said, pulling out the dirty robes and dumping them into a pot.

**o0o**

Morning came with cries of shock and gasps from every mage in the Tower of Wayreth. Every single robe had disappeared from their drawers, regardless of their color. Mages ran around the hallways in pajamas looking for their missing clothes and those who slept in the nude were in serious trouble.

"What kind of joke is this?" screamed Ladonna (Head of the Black robes), stomping her foot on the ground and shaking a highly dangerous lightning wand at Par-Salian. The wizardress was wearing a revealing filmy gown. She desperately tried to cover herself up decently with a blanket.

"I have no idea what's going on," Par-Salian said, staring, "but I kinda like it…"

A quick zap and Par-Salian was pwnd in a matter of miliseconds.

Justarius appeared out of nowhere into the study and took one long look at Par-Salian. The Head of the Red Robes was wearing a one piece long-underwear jammie with a nighty cap to match. Assuming that Par-Salian had said something wrong to Ladonna about her choice of night wear, he looked up at her eagerly.

Justarius was dreadfully disappointed.

"ARRRGGHHH! OLD LADY BODY! I'VE JUST SEEN AN OLD LADY BODY! MY EYES!" The red robe cried out in pain. He covered his face and ran in octagons, "FOR THE LOVE OF LUNITARI, IT WAS LIKE PRUNES AND WRINKLY THINGS-"

And now Justarius was pwnd in a matter of miliseconds.

"Idiots and perverts, I'm surrounded by idiots and perverts," Ladonna sighed, tucking the wand back… somewhere… um.

"Hehe," Par-Salian giggled.

"Oh GOD. She tucked it in THERE," Justarius yelled in agony, clawing at his burning eyes.

The two male mages had miraculously been brought back to life by unknown forces. Too bad those unknown forces wasted their energy since Ladonna was about to rekill them again.

"Our clothes are back!" a voice called from outside the room, "the laundress said it was a surprise! She washed all of them! Her assistant told us they're back in our rooms!"

Ladonna stopped bashing Par-Salian's and Justarius' heads together. The two men were already unconscious. Leaving the limp bodies on the ground, she muttered a spell that would take her into her quarters.

Sure enough there was a wicker basket filled with fresh clean laundry. Ladonna eyed it suspiciously and looked inside. She smiled.

"Oh, how nice of the laundress."

**o0o**

Not too long after Justarius took a peek at his own basket. He took out a random robe and yelped.

"Oh, hell no!"

Par-Salian dug through his basket, flinging his robes everywhere.

"No! NO!" He screamed, disgusted, "This CAN'T be!"

**o0o**

Nuitari snickered as he delivered everybody's laundry. Mission accomplished.

The dark god was soon accompanied by his cousins.

"That was really nice of you," Lunitari said, giving Nuitari a quick hug.

"Even with magic, I still don't know how you did it," Solunari said, "Washing all that laundry in less than a night… that's gotta be some record."

Nuitari smiled his secretive smile, "Oh, it was easy… I just combined the whole thing into two separate loads."

Solunari slapped his forehead, "Of course! It's so simple! I wonder why the laundress didn't think of that!"

Lunitari nodded absently, but a sudden thought caused her eyes to narrow alarmingly.

"Two loads?"

Seeing that Lunitari was beginning to catch on, Nuitari grinned wildly, "Yup. Two loads."

The goddess swayed and worked her jaw. Too angry and shocked to say anything, she grabbed a basket that Nuitari was going to deliver to a white robe and opened in it. She pulled out a clean robe.

One can assume that the robe had been originally white with definitely no pink spots.

"You washed the whites with all the reds at the same time?" Lunitari asked shrilly.

Nuitari was unable to contain his delight.

"Yes!" he said, smirking insanely, "Why, there was so much more room in the pot, I decided to combine the red and white loads together. I would've washed in the blacks too, but I didn't have enough space. A pity, really." He added sweetly.

Solunari's voice was an octave higher than usual, "You fiend!"

Lunitari and Solunari dove into the pile of clean robes and stared to inspect each and every robe. Eventually the horrified Solunari yanked out something that used to be a red dress. It had faded into a repulsive rotten rose color.

"They're all pink!" Lunitari whispered, aghast. She looked down at the fuchsia-colored robe that she held in her hands. For sure, this belonged to a person of the male gender. She shuddered. "This is terrible."

"Aw, and there's nothing you could do about it," Nuitari said loudly, patting his cousin on the shoulder in mock comfort. He laughed.

"I heard that tough guys wear pink…" Solunari said miserably, trying to make light on the subject.

"No, only weak, sissy, and dorko guys wear pink," Nuitari countered, squashing all hope for the Light god.

"Oh…" Solunari said sadly.

Lunitari glanced up at Nui. Her eyes flashed a deep crimson, reflecting her suppressed anger and embarrassment. "How long do you plan to do this?" she asked calmly.

Nuitari winked at the neutral goddess and poked the tip of her nose.

"Until I'm satisfied, love."

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End Chapter10 

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